clownphish

"No one of consequence."

[clownphish @clownphish]

Why does the water at my dad's place only have two temps: scald your skin off hot or freeze your tits off cold

[clownphish @clownphish]

I love the "drop 💯 if you reached this last slide bc that means you finish what you start". What, scrolling thru self-help memes? This is my accomplishment? Aight, fuck it. I'll take it.

[clownphish @clownphish]

Me: Frustrated at minute speck of dust under my new screen protector. Ruined!

Also me: Lived with multiple cracks in old screen protector for months no problem.

[clownphish @clownphish]

Struggling to start the toilet paper roll is not the kind of shit I'm trying to accomplish first thing in the morning >_<

[clownphish @clownphish]

I need a handsy man around this house

[clownphish @clownphish]

I would like to know what I did in a past life to deserve such LOUD CATS

[clownphish @clownphish]

There's a woman behind me on the plane *reading a story* to her young daughter and it is actively restoring my faith in humanity. I am also very interested in what's gonna happen to Alex and these worms chock full of vitamins.

[clownphish @clownphish]

Blu deTiger slappin dat bass at the 9:30 Club DC. Didn’t realize I needed a hit of live music but I’m so glad we went! 🫶🎸🎶

#930club #dc #liveislife @ 9:30 Club https://t.co/RgmlFsAQXZ

[Telepurte @Telepeturtle]

Violence

[clownphish @clownphish]

@mattmilko @jamieamalea Oh this is some prime @TonyBakercomedy fodder right here!

[Patricia Lockwood @TriciaLockwood]

me, lightly touching miette with the side of my foot: miette move out of the way please so I don’t trip on you

miette, her eyes enormous: you KICK miette? you kick her body like the football? oh! oh! jail for mother! jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[tiny @tinymakesthings]

this is beyond cute

[Anna-Laura @annalaura_art]

Still feeling the waves after being in the ocean for a long time :,)

[Five Times August @FiveTimesAugust]

Spot on 😂

[CHUPAPI MUNYAYO😎 @the_kukijar]

Hoping and Praying that our Tongan friends are alright!

[Non-Ironically T.V.'s B. Dave Walters - EVERYWHERE @BDaveWalters]

I hate how true ALL this is

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Look at this moth from the genus Phalera

It looks like a fragment of twig complete with chipped bark and even the layering of wood tissue at the “cut” ends...

perfectly resembling a broken piece of wood to avoid predation.

[clownphish @clownphish]

Early AM slow cooker pulled pork: a saga 🐷🍖🥱
#tooearlyforthis #shouldaprepped #slowcooker #pulledpork @ Baltimore, Maryland https://t.co/c6rrgcGFfc