Claire

Just a 30 year old trying her best.

[Claire @clurfizzle]

Dress like it all you want but you can no longer have babies, Wrigley. #thehandsmaidstale

[Claire @clurfizzle]

I can now start joining the "shit my kid says" group. Today my 2 yo shouted to the barista as she was trying to pay for our coffee "I have a card!" (A Tim Hortons reward card) "It's from my butt!" (She was sitting on it in her car seat)

[Trung Phan @TrungTPhan]

The last three years, explained

[Claire @clurfizzle]

Does anyone else think the stretching animation for Switch Sports golf is weird?

[Claire @clurfizzle]

These are available on my Buy Nothing group and wow what a deal. What is this person doing just giving away these gems?

[sandra 🤠 @sandra32gonza]

The dmv be like you forgot to bring the Declaration of Independence

[Austen Allred @Austen]

We DO NOT throw away perfectly good food in this house.

We put the leftovers in Tupperware, put the Tupperware in the fridge, let it go bad, THEN throw it out.

[Claire @clurfizzle]

Wordle but the same word twice in one day. Once for when I'm up at 3am breastfeeding and then that same word hours later because I completed it but have no memory of what that word was.

[Claire @clurfizzle]

It's a real rare treat when I can listen to my own chill music. When my toddler's around it's all club bangers all the time. If I try to put on Raffi, she's whining for Dua Lipa.

[Sarah J. Hass @tacko_belle]

credit card chip machines are like:

- DO NOT remove your card
- DO NOT - hey look at me - DO NOT remove your card
- take out your card immediately or I’m burning this place to the ground

[Allison O'Conor @allisonoconor]

the cdc is just like uhhhh yeah it's totally up to you, I'm honestly down for whatever

[Claire @clurfizzle]

I've never seen the show Felicity but based on the description of some of the episodes, I can't imagine it being that interesting. #LateNightBreastfeedingThoughts

[Derek Simpson @dereksimpson]

You’re just going to have to trust me that I love my kids…I can’t keep up with y’all’s made up holidays.

[Claire @clurfizzle]

A day of digitally disimpacting someone really makes you reconsider your career choices #nurselife #DontDoHeroinYall

[ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ʙᴇɴ ᴀꜰꜰʟᴇᴄᴋ @BestAffleck]

Ben Affleck with buff arms spills @dunkindonuts delivery (31/December/2020)

[Claire @clurfizzle]

Bridgerton is just 19th century Gossip Girl

[Sara K. Runnels @omgskr]

New Year’s hottest club is...Staying the Fuck Home. This place has EVERYTHING! Cheap drinks. Heavy pours. Your favorite spot on the couch. No bathroom lines. No cover for ladies (masks & bras not required). VIP fridge access. Live performances by you staring at your phone & MORE!

[Claire @clurfizzle]

@McK_Who Pro tip right there

[Claire @clurfizzle]

I like to watch really bad and cheesy Christmas movies around the holidays and Netflix thinks that I want to do that all year round now. #noplease #recommendationsallscrewedup