Peggy Trill

[Peggy Trill @clurrpybus]

@softasglow I’m waiting all week for Friday night 🍹

[jabe @softasglow]

thinking about the time my ex directly quoted Avril Lavigne’s sk8er boi to me during a post breakup fight

[Peggy Trill @clurrpybus]

@softasglow Our maid dumps out the water, takes apart the whole Brita, cleans all the pieces, and leaves them drying on the counter every time she comes. She means well but I’m about to switch back to bottled water because I can’t keep doing this.

[James Holzhauer @James_Holzhauer]

Wheel of Fortune went about this all wrong

First you subject the contestants and viewers to an endless parade of temps who don’t prepare before hosting

Then the producer in charge of the search says “Actually, *I* would be the perfect host”

Then “jk we have two hosts now”

[Kate Mooney @yatinbrooklyn]

so my neighbor and i both had mouse sightings this week. here’s how our landlord responded:

[Peggy Trill @clurrpybus]

@Lex_Town It’s called compatibility 💁🏼‍♀️😅

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

And there I was, at 21, broken that I'd never hear my sister laugh again. I held her limp hand, my eyes playing cruel tricks as I swore I saw her breathe. In that moment, all I could think about was the lava cake we'd bake together. For this recipe, you'll need a double boiler.

[Peggy Trill @clurrpybus]

When you’re getting ur eyelashes done and they finally pull out the lil fan 😮‍💨

[Joey @miatabarber]

whataburger be wanting you to sober up in their long ass line

[sandra 🤠 @sandra32gonza]

The dmv be like you forgot to bring the Declaration of Independence

[hunter harris @hunteryharris]

we need to defund stemless wine glass culture

[Iris 💫 @Jest_Iris]

your body is a wonder bread

[Zahid Dewji @zahiddewji]

Love how we’re canceling people for old tweets meanwhile Avril Lavigne once said “he was a boy she was a girl can I make it anymore obvious.”

[Otto Fernandez @OttoFernandez]

It's Chinese New Year and the first day of Black History Month?

[Tahzjuan Hawkins @TahzjuanHawkins]

Don't forget how bad you wanted what you currently have

[Peggy Trill @clurrpybus]

I got my bf an Xbox for Christmas and he got me a Kindle so now we can ignore each other in the same room 💕❤️🥰

[Peggy Trill @clurrpybus]

@iamchimazing @Cam_Kianna We have ruined you forever!

[Chris Thorburn @CBThorburn]

Start naming the variants after the women from Mambo No. 5.