Shared everything I’ve been dealing with for months with my best friend and she literally started crying. I was just staring at her like, behen why are YOU crying? 😭
there's this belief buried deep inside me that i can't date anyone until i've become the absolute best version of myself. first i need the career. then the body. then the confidence. then the life plan. and only after all that, i'm finally allowed to be loved.
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at myself] it's over.
wish i could just let it all out at once. cry it out scream it out and be done with it but sadly grief doesn't work like that. it doesn't care how much progress you've made. just when you think you're finally surfacing, it finds you again pulls you under and consumes you whole.