PottedBeans

The key to a happy marriage 👩‍❤️‍👨is sleeping with separate blankets; having s3x 💋 as often as possible; oh and smoke a bunch of W33D 😙💨

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

10 years later I’m laughing with him in our bathroom with our son.
I love my Leos

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Met a guy named Leo
He was not a Leo
I am disappointed

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

And I still stared at those pills and researched how many it would take to kill me.
Turns out they can’t
So I’ll keep taking them until I no longer feel like I want to kill myself.
I’ll just be a zombie, but at least I’m alive right?
…right?

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Oh to add to all that,
We have a 10 month old.
I sat on the phone with the suicide hotline for 20 minutes before I felt safe enough to bring my child inside with my broken mind

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Then he wonders why I feel so fucking ignored, depressed, and unloved.
And I’m posting these here because I know he’s more likely to check his Twitter than he is to check his texts or calls

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Then told him I’d be going to bed at 7pm and that I wouldn’t see him until probably like 5-8pm tomorrow.
He just said sounds good

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Told my husband I wanted to die
He apologized via text and ignored the call I made shortly after

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Thanks @chancetherapper for spending 1,363 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to GRoCERIES. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/WZZJN6RtsW

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Being a mom is fucking tough and I’m sorry to any and all moms I ever doubted or thought had it easy. Fuck man, I feel like I’m drowning

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

It’s bullshit that society makes me feel like I have to be a perfect mom 24/7, 365 days a year.
I’m not a perfect mom, as I type this, my baby is crying in his crib because I cannot handle him today

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Here’s a picture of my babe

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Gave birth 3.5 weeks ago and I am absolutely convinced that my vagina is NEVER going to not fucking hurt.
Like what the fuck is that? Gotta deal with postpartum anxiety and a fucking stinging pain in my crotch?

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

@DougBenson Shaved my head in May 2020, haven’t cut it since

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

Ryan! @RyArch15 look at you! Congrats on getting back in the league full time. Can’t wait to see you play!

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

The New York Knicks are signing guard Ryan Arcidiacono to a contract for the remainder of the season, sources tell @TheAthletic @Stadium.

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

@_gabulouss Dude I never got my period when I was on BC, maybe that’s it?

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

How do people just have motivation to clean their house everyday?
32 weeks pregnant and literally all I want to do is watch food network, cook, and not clean up after myself.

[Matt Peck @Bulls_Peck]

Oof.

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

@_gabulouss #justelope we’re gonna have a vow renewal once little leo can walk and talk. So probably like 2025 as well, and it’s gonna be lit

[PottedBeans @cmburns112]

We went 2 years without Covid, now we both have it… goddamnit