Carlin

probably taking photos

[Carlin @cmckm11]

Stop what you’re doing and look at this wild pitcher plant

[Carlin @cmckm11]

Does anyone know the psychology behind why fall vibes make me feel viscerally ill

[Carlin @cmckm11]

Is it just me or does airport time pass faster than regular time?

[Carlin @cmckm11]

It’s been a while, but I’m back baby

[Carlin @cmckm11]

Not much makes me happier than when people ask me to ID an animal

[Carlin @cmckm11]

@_xoChrissi that’s amazing

[Carlin @cmckm11]

if anyone struggles with panic attacks, know you’re not alone, even if your symptoms may not be the same as mine or other people you may know. but just do know that all a panic attack is, is an adrenaline rush telling you you need to fight or flight.

[Carlin @cmckm11]

what also bothers me is when people use the term “panic attack” when they’re slightly stressed out about whatever. a panic attack is so much more than being generally stressed out. panic attacks are different for everybody, so my experience may be different from yours

[Carlin @cmckm11]

a panic attack is nothing more than a burst of adrenaline in order for you to “fight or fight”

the best way i’ve found to describe the feeling of a panic attack building is the anticipation you feel climbing up the first hill of a roller coaster.

[Carlin @cmckm11]

however the progress i have made over the last year w my panic disorder blows me away. i was having multiple (3-5+ times a day) and now i have had two in the last week (likely due to stress from losing my grandmother) but before that, it’s been a couple of months since i had one!

[Carlin @cmckm11]

@_xoChrissi literally so proud of you!!!

[Carlin @cmckm11]

waking up in the middle of the night w a panic attack just makes no sense? wasn’t i just in a sweet slumber??? only to wake up at 5am w a full blown panic attack?? like can we at least wait till midday when i’m prepared and can sense it coming on??

[Carlin @cmckm11]

smiley kiowa the gray wolf 🐺

[Carlin @cmckm11]

@remachristner iconic 😎

[Carlin @cmckm11]

the swag i had in 1999….

[Carlin @cmckm11]

LOOK at this darling

[Carlin @cmckm11]

2021 me 2022 me

[Carlin @cmckm11]

i am just so insanely proud of myself and the progress that i have made over the last 365 days. i truly didn’t think that i would make it out of 2021, but i did. i fucking did it.

[Carlin @cmckm11]

i needed professional help and i was not truthful to my family, friends, and my doctors about the severity of what i truly needed because i was turning 26 and aging out of my parents insurance and i couldn’t fathom how i would finance treatment

[Carlin @cmckm11]

after a couple of months of being exhausted performing blue collar work, my body adapted. i felt stronger. i lifted a 10 gallon bucket of horse grain and noticed that i didn’t even struggle, when in january i had to carry it with two hands and waddle it to the cart.

[Carlin @cmckm11]

now, with me losing 75 lbs extremely unhealthily, i lost an extreme amount of muscle mass. and my new job is physical. i would come home at the end of the day absolutely exhausted, yet completely satisfied with my day, and eager to go back the next day.