Listen to this interaction between Coach K and Kobe Bryant in the 2008 Olympics
“Those are Lakers shots, not shots that are trying to win a Gold Medal. I can’t let you take them”
“Is that all? I agree. I won’t take them”
Players want accountability
The amazing thing: I reminded my team the inverse, every week, when i was on DJT’s National Security Council Staff.
Our memento mori.
It’s why I inscribed it — in binary — on the back of my personal White House coin:
“It’s just us.”
Nick Saban got fired up.
It was December 2014. A reporter asked about defensive lineman D.J. Pettway: “How gratifying is it to you to see him make the most of his second chance?”
Saban launched into a speech every human needs to hear.
(Pettway, who was dismissed from Alabama a year prior, returned to the program and earned his degree.)
Here’s Saban on Second Chances:
“There’s always a lot of criticism out there when somebody does something wrong. Everybody wants to know, how are you gonna punish the guy?
“But there’s not enough, for 19 and 20 year old kids, people out there saying, why don’t you give them another chance.
“Guy makes a mistake. Where do you want him to be? Want him to be in the street? Or do you want him to be here graduating?
“Muhsin Muhammad played for me at Michigan State. Everybody in the school, every newspaper guy, everybody was killing the guy because he got in trouble and said there’s no way he should be on our team. I didn’t kick him off the team. I suspended him, I made him do stuff.
“He graduated from Michigan State. He played 15 years in the league. He’s the president of a company now. He has 7 children, and his oldest daughter goes to Princeton. So, who was right?
“I feel strong about this now. About all the criticism out there of every guy that’s 19 years old that makes a mistake and you all kill him. And then some people won’t stand up for him.
“So my question to you is, where do you want him to be?
“You want to condemn him to a life sentence? Or do you want the guy to have his children going to Princeton?”
–
It’s an important message in a world filled with hate.
My takeaways:
1. Everyone makes mistakes. We just forget our own.
2. We tend to judge others who mess up. The better response is compassion.
3. Mistakes are teaching moments, first and foremost. Don’t waste that opportunity.
4. One mistake doesn’t (necessarily) make someone a bad person. Most people have the potential to learn, move on and do better.
5. That said, mistakes require accountability and carry consequences. You have to own them.
6. Second chances don’t guarantee third chances.
7. If you want to feel self-righteous, condemn someone. If you want to actually make a difference, love them.
8. The world needs more loving discipline.
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Hope this is helpful. Follow me @TMitrosilis for more writing.
I’ll share more from Saban in my weekly newsletter → https://t.co/Akm89Spodg
If a boy never received praise from his dad—and if he doesn't resolve that emotional need and come to grips with it—he's highly likely to rely on his own children for that recognition. You pass your emotional neediness along to your own kids.
Or if a little girl's emotional needs were never taken seriously by her own parents, she's at risk of relying on her 10 year old daughter to validate her own emotional needs when she becomes a parent herself. As ridiculous as that sounds, it's extraordinarily common.
This is really rough stuff, but it happens. And these emotional systems are totally hidden.
How to spot high agency people:
1. Weird teenage hobbies - Teenage years are the hardest time to go against social pressures. If they can go against the crowd as a teenager, they can go against the crowd as an adult.
2. Energy distortion field - If you meet with them when you're tired and defeated, you leave the room ready to run a marathon on a treadmill with max incline. Low agency people do the opposite.
3. Golden question - If you're in a 3rd world prison cell and had to call someone to get you out, who would you call? That's the highest agency person you know.
4. You can never guess their opinions - The boxer that writes poetry. The advertiser obsessed with the history of war. The beauty queen who reads Nietzsche. If their beliefs don't line up with their stereotypes, they've exercised agency.
5. Immigrant mentality - If they've moved from their hometown, that's a good sign. If they've moved from their home country, that's an even greater sign.
It takes agency to spot you're in the wrong place, resourcefulness to operationalise a move and a growth mindset to start from zero in a new location.
6. They send you niche content - Low agency people look at the social engagement of content before deeming its quality. High agency people just look at the content. They spot upcoming trends very early.
7. Mean to your face but nice behind your back - The social incentives are to be nice to people's faces and gossip behind their backs. To do the opposite requires agency because they're swimming against the social tide.
"Whenever you have a choice between being right or being kind be kind."
Excellent Advice for Living – the wise and wonderful @kevin2kelly's life-tested wisdom he wished he knew earlier https://t.co/lYMTCt3YfQ
I saw this ad for WWF Germany today. It blew me away with its creativity
The copy says:
"Protect our wildlife, before it’s too late.”
Genius marketing.
It’s rare that I find promo videos this good.
The storytelling in this one by @Ford is perfection.
Instantly creates an emotional connection that pulled me back to my own experiences. 10/10