im nervous about today mostly because even i have family i feel like im flying into this alone
and it is scary thinking about the fact i dont have someone i trust to turn to
and the problem is i think just because i have no control
just because im lonely and just because im not well right now i deserve a another chance
i don't know why i do one literally told me to kms and actively hates me
this really is the worst period of my life so far
no friends
mentally fucked
hated
lost
angry
and coming to terms that i have no real friends has been so hard
because i don't know what to do
like i still think the same stuff and feel the same emotions
im just not enabling them to get worse
and another thing is i hate people praising me for this stuff i don't feel comfortable about it
there is one person i like hearing it from but that ship has sailed sadly
like i still think the same stuff and feel the same emotions
im just not enabling them to get worse
and another thing is i hate people praising me for this stuff i don't feel comfortable about it
there is one person i like hearing it from but that ship has sailed sadly
like i do feel like i've taken a step in the right direction but it shouldn't be anything to cheer over
what might be big to me is relatively small to others so i need to get to a stage where it's big
this might take a month or two or even a few
i don't like thinkin "im getting better" because i know by getting too comfortable with not constantly controlling myself ill revert back to the way i was somehow
all it takes is one split or breakdown to make me go back because it's only been 44 hours not 2 weeks
i don't like thinkin "im getting better" because i know by getting too comfortable with not constantly controlling myself ill revert back to the way i was somehow
all it takes is one split or breakdown to make me go back because it's only been 44 hours not 2 weeks