colleen

Your friendly neighborhood granola dad. She/her.

[colleen @coIIeesi]

People tell you that tattoos will keep you from getting hired but I’ll have you know my x-wing has gotten me free breadsticks on TWO occasions so who’s the real winner here

[colleen @coIIeesi]

Sure sex is great but have you ever found out that your platonic friend crush ALSO HAS A PLATONIC FRIEND CRUSH ON YOU

[colleen @coIIeesi]

@maritessheep Okay now I’m crying I love you so much and wish you every happiness

[colleen @coIIeesi]

Geologists rock my world

[colleen @coIIeesi]

Anyone who celebrates their dog’s birthday is automatically okay with me.

[colleen @coIIeesi]

“While I praise Alec’s work, consider this- people left the industry because of what he did. People gave up their dreams, the art they wanted to make.”

I weep for what we’ve lost because of people like Alec. Thank you for speaking.

[Chambraigne Socialist @bombsfall]

I wrote about my complicated relationship with Alec Holowka. It's long and angry and doesn't have a happy ending.
https://t.co/WGdVUHCzpf

[colleen @coIIeesi]

Tyler: I tried the new frenchie from @jimmyjohns with the salami

Colleen: isn’t it something fancier than salami

Tyler: .......salamí

[Big Red (he/him) @veg_daddy]

I’ve found my favorite video on the internet https://t.co/MdQ2UwuaaQ

[LIZZO @lizzo]

THIS BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY!!!!! PLAY YO INSTRUMENT AND LIVE YO LIFEEEEEEEE!!!!

(STREAM TRUTH HURTS WE TRYNA GO #1 🙏🏾)

[colleen @coIIeesi]

One week of grad school
Two mental breakdowns
Three papers due Sunday

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

boomers: millennials are *immoral* and only think about themselves

millennials: *sweating* would fleeing into the woods lower my environmental impact? am I supporting CEOs who are jerks to women? will I go to the Bad Place for drinking almond milk

[Adam Jentleson @AJentleson]

Today's NYT: someone called Bret Stephens a bedbug so he googled "Jews as bedbugs" to reverse-engineer a column calling his critics Nazis, forgot to clear the search and declined to note that the citation did not substantiate the anti-Semitic connotation he based his column on.

[colleen @coIIeesi]

@tyforquer Hey liberals, how am I supposed to protect my children when 30-50 feral cats come to the beach to shit?

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

I have alcoholism so I’m a Perrier socialist. Please respect.

[colleen @coIIeesi]

Thought I was killing it in my graduate school skills assessment until I got to the blank section for indicating any Emmys received to date

[emma @emclairefarrell]

This is how my prof cancelled class this morning

[cheez-itchrist @yivinne]

Sister: say “star spangled banner”
Mom: star bagel banana

My mom passed her citizenship test! 😎🍾🇺🇸

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

Now we sail up the Hudson River to North Cove Marina. Thank you to all that greeted us on the water!!