Cody May

[Cody May @cobenmay]

@BillNye why do all garbage and trash collection spots have a similar smell?? #dontmakenosense

[Cody May @cobenmay]

@TheNoblestBear Oh dope. Must have been a fake article I read about.

[Cody May @cobenmay]

finally followed thru with that *forgot password?* button... someone update me are we all doing okay?

[Cody May @cobenmay]

@Mcrebouche Do I have to call you mother now? That doesn’t seem right in any way I try to spin it. Majesty? Majestriss?

[coffee dad @coffee_dad]

needing a # coffee

[Cody May @cobenmay]

Honestly what's the point of oatmeal if it doesn't have dinosaur eggs in it...

[Cody May @cobenmay]

Phone call w Verizon + Dad switching off his plan. When I ask to bump my data up, Dad says "prob so he can catch Pokemon." Well played, Ken.

[Cody May @cobenmay]

When there's no other option and I'm forced to buy Starbucks, I exaggerate my inability to say their sizes because I hate how dumb they are.

[Cody May @cobenmay]

Resident threw the door open wearing a WWF shirt and yells "Stone Cold Steve Austin has the best f*cking theme song of all time!!" #thankyou

[Cody May @cobenmay]

"If there was a purge for real I would go to the pound and take all of the dogs while everyone is getting rich people stuff." -little sister

[Cody May @cobenmay]

The amount of times I have been asked if I am this 17 year-old's father at the Doctor's office is both offensive and concerning to me.

[Cody May @cobenmay]

@jack_jennings15 literally my dad