Spatchcock

MIKE™️ tm stands for the money

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

I have surpassed the need for a corporate job. I have started paying for everything with my Boyish charm

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

I just got fired from my job that I don’t have Now I can pursue this full time

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

Holding hands? You mean romantically feeling my calluses

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

I am #7 on the FBI’s most wanted list. Federal boobie inspector that is

[i think @kutaiuranium]

i saw chief keef at subway and he was ordering straight bread

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

I just got kicked out of the Anne Frank Museum tour for saying “So she masturbated in here?”

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

Hey siri, what is young dolphs first name?

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

Wow this onion really has me in my feels. She’s never coming back is she?

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

Does Spatchcock need to rebrand? I’m getting 0 likes and sitting here in my own juices laughing at myself. Can somebody please get me a towel

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

Jefry Yan MLB debut

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

What do I normally like to do for first dates? Have sex on them

[Anthony DiComo @AnthonyDiComo]

And there it is: the first strikeout and strikeout celebration of Jefry Yan's Major League career.

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

My brother only lets me play Fortnite if I have a high visibility vest and helmet on. Then he starts placing traffic cones around me

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

To no one’s surprise, my birthday lands on International Chest Day this year. I think regular people call it Monday.

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

I’m at Djai’s wearing a white shirt and ripped skinnies. My yellow gold cross is violently dancing on the exterior of my ribbed collar. God I just want to fit in so bad

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

I don’t set a timer in the sauna. I just sit with my existential dread and wait until everyone that got in before me leaves

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

The high schooler right next to me started copying my overhead cable tricep extensions. Aura?????

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

Has anyone seen my low rise skinny jeans and “Dump him.” crop top. I can’t find them anywhere

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

I’m hogging the plates at the gym like my brother used to hog the Xbox. Mom said it was my turn an hour ago

[Spatchcock @cockmstrflex]

One sec I’m sucking my girlfriend’s toes this little piggy went to the market I like to start at the lower calf/heel and work my way up