absolutely not ashley

✨ everything is temporary ✨

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

@jessrobichaud If you take the middle of the night feed and change with the baby you can move into my extra room 😅😂

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

I can’t even think of Red TV without sobbing.

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Don’t have sex. You will get pregnant and you will almost die birthing it. That’s all.

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

One really cool pregnancy symptom I have is that I get chest pain when I have to poop

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

@sasquatchstacy This is my dog after knee surgery, he’s all heeled now but he couldn’t figure out his tongue for a while

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

I would like to quit being pregnant now please

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Since I’m basically on bed rest let’s see if I can rewatch all of greys anatomy before I give birth

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

A fun new thing I learned is that you start getting contractions way before you go into labour like 6 weeks before your due date haha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahah just living and laughing and not loving it so much tho

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

People always ask my bf and I how we got our dog two major knee surgeries and the answer is that we are now completely broke, like actual crippling debt, but our baby is no longer in pain and that’s all that matters ❤️

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

After not speaking to anyone for my entire pregnancy out of pure misery I would like to announce that I am ready to have friends again.

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Does anyone else go through really traumatic events and then block them out as if they never happened and then wonder why you can’t control your body whenever something is brought up that slightly reminds you of it or should I go to therapy

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Do you guys think McDonald’s will make me a Big Mac at 8 am if I show them how pregnant I am and start crying

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

I freaking love fall! Pumpkin spice, apple cider, and my special cocktail of seasonal and regular depression

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Why is august almost over, then it’s September. Then it’s October and I’ll have a BABY. Where all my time go😭😭I’m not readyyyyyy

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

They say your baby moves most in your belly when they hear your voice but mine moves most when I listen to Taylor Swift so I’m just going to assume he will come out singing All Too Well and that’s okay

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Having anxiety sucks because I thought I was having a panic attack but I actually have bronchitis and did require medical intervention ha ha lol

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Does anyone else’s brain do the thing where it tells you something is wrong but it won’t tell you what it is

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Yo I lost 7 followers after this tweet hehe sweet successssss

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

hey if we went to high school together and I didn’t let you follow my Instagram or accept your fb friend request, I probably don’t want you around my Twitter either hahah sorry! But remember when you didn’t want to be my friend? Now I don’t want to be yours bye

[absolutely not ashley @cocostraws]

Watching my pregnant ass try and climb into my truck Everytime is probably pure entertainment