****

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

If u don't have a dog ur a fuckin idiot

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

Can bars stop telling me to leave because i’m wearing sweats? My net worth is the same in trousers

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

@_jackiesmith @kate__lynnnnnn 6 more weeks of winter

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

imagine being the guy at tesla whose job it is to fix the whole cars-hitting-people thing rn. just leaving elon 100 voicemails. like hey man hope youre having fun with your app. listen the car hit another birthday clown. we think it may be on purpose. anyway good luck with the $8

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

@cashewrising SHE MUST BE STOPPED

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

Play stupid games wins stupid prizes

[The Meme-Industrial Complex @MemeIndustrial]

MY FATHER

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

Just got kicked out of a bar for ordering 3 martinis

[Maria @real1maria]

The US takeover of the European energy market

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

muting is the most passive aggressive twitter feature ever

[John Fetterman @JohnFetterman]

Too bad there’s no miracle cure for being a total fraud

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

Who loses the shoes off their feet

[**** @codyeinecrazy]

Hey if you’re on the beach in wildwood and find a pair of off white dunks they’re fucking mine

[m @pussypearI]

me passing the pen to my friend

[michelle hanley @piscesgurl69]

obsessed with the kids who made the finals of the USA Mullet Championships and their absolutely fucked up names

[The Hooburrito, a burrito by Hoobastank @sug_knight]

The energy Taylor Swift fans have for her music, I have for Boar’s Head premium deli meats and cheeses