Cody

Amateur golfer • Newbie Weeb

[Cody @codyluu]

Showed up to the office this morning with my shirt tucked in and one of my employees said I looked “fancy”.

I need to step up my wardrobe.

[Cody @codyluu]

Tell me you’re almost 40 without telling me you’re almost 40.

I’ll go first:

I coughed this morning and almost threw my back out. 🫠

[Cody @codyluu]

My wife just cut her salmon filet in half…length-wise.

Did I marry a psychopath?

[Cody @codyluu]

I just saw a thing that said if Back to the Future took place today, Marty McFly would be travelling to the year 1994 and that’s it for me today. I’m done.

[Cody @codyluu]

My kid stared right into my eyes as he crapped himself. #PowerMove

[Cody @codyluu]

Today was supposed to be my first day back at the office. Instead, I ended up solo parenting because my wife is sick.

I’m happy to report my son is still alive. 👌

[Cody @codyluu]

You never know how ninja you are until you have to be quiet so as not to wake your baby. 🥷

[Cody @codyluu]

The doctor just told my wife and I that we could stop waking Duncan in the middle of the night to feed and just let him sleep (when he’s actually sleeping), and I’ve never wanted to kiss another woman so bad…

[Cody @codyluu]

There were times in my life where I thought I was tired. My kid has taught me that those times were AA-ball at best, and we’re in the Big Leagues now 😴

[Cody @codyluu]

So I was at a McDonald’s the other and get this…the McFlurry machine was WORKING. What a crazy world we live in.

[Cody @codyluu]

Amy and I have been together for 6 years (married for the last 11ish months) and today is the first time I think she’s ever given me the finger. Third trimester is going well 😂

[Cody @codyluu]

Finally saw my kid kick for the first time (he’s been kicking lots, I just haven’t seen it). Never mind the fact that it looks like an alien trying to escape my wife’s abdomen, it was really cool.

[Cody @codyluu]

Unwritten elevator protocol is to let people off the elevator before getting on, correct? Because two people tried to trap me in the elevator leaving work today.

[Cody @codyluu]

Played music to my wife’s baby bump for little Duncan. So far he responds (kicks) to @DojaCat & @ladygaga. Do I see death drops in his future?

[Cody @codyluu]

If you hear/see/say the word Jambalaya and don’t immediately think of Newman from Seinfeld, what have you been doing with your life?

[Cody @codyluu]

I just saw a can of mango flavoured Pepsi and I am deeply concerned

[Cody @codyluu]

I think we can all agree that the “family size” bags of chips have become the standard size bag of chips.

[Cody @codyluu]

Would love if the self-serve kiosks at Shoppers Drug Mart didn’t scream at me 😳

[Cody @codyluu]

Nothing like broken elevators and nine flights of stairs on a Monday morning to remind you how out of shape you are.

[Cody @codyluu]

Day 3 of marriage: hotel is booked under my wife (who didn’t take my last name), so I will be referred to as Mr. Cooper for the next 2 days.