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[Strix @strixperegrinus]

You get off the train at Piccadilly, midday.

"Ah, smell that Manchester air!" you think to yourself, not recognising the smell of diesel. You don't linger in it for long, jumping straight into a taxi outside.

"No10 North, please!" you say with pride.

"Where!?" asks Ahmed, your driver.

"Heron House," you say. Ahmed stares blankly at you in the rearview mirror. "Slug & Lettuce, Albert Square" you say reluctantly, and the cab pulls off the rank.

The squalor of Piccadilly Gardens is a sight to behold. Feral gangs of ethnic teenagers dressed all in black on this sunny summer's day, drug dealers operating with impunity, illegal deliveroo riders scowling at passers by, leering at women like an unexpected meal...all of which you would have seen if you'd looked up from your phone. Luckily for you, you're busy. You've work to catch up on. The wifi was patchy on the train from London, so you've lost about two hours.

The cab pulls up at "The Slug", as you're sure you'll soon be calling it, and you begin to alight. Suddenly, you realise it's lunchtime! Honestly, where *does* the time go!?

"Where's the nearest Pret?" you ask Ahmed through the window.

"What?" he says.

"Nevermind. Thanks for the journey," you reply, opening your phone to check maps. Deansgate Pret is...90 seconds away!? That's almost two minutes! How do these savages live like this!? So much to be done for this area, what a good decision this venture was. Since you can't spare that sort of time, you'll have to order in.

You walk past security, using your lanyard as a shield and daring them to peruse it. Upstairs and you see the door, o that wonderful black door! How you missed it on the journey up. And behind it are all the familiar faces from London - phew! You've been in Manchester 6 minutes and seen absolutely none of that famous charm, so it's nice to see a friendly expression at last. "I'm doing a Just Eat order," you say, "who wants what?"

You go round the team, and half an hour later you're ready to check the order. "So it's chicken fajitas for Lydia, falafel wrap for Jeremy, Millie just wants an oat milk matcha latte and Benjamin you're fully immersing yourself in the culture with a couple of sausage rolls from Greggs, is that right?" And the order goes in. Quick, efficient, no-nonsense and authentically civil service.

You open your laptop to get down to business. Oh! Lunch is here! Fabulous, let's set work aside for a moment to check out the new breakout spaces. You enjoy a terrific meal while catching up on all the office gossip. But wait! Look at the time! It's almost 2! You really must dash for the train back.

"Sorry all, would love to stay, but I can't be late picking Arabella up from nursery debating club again"

You get in the nearest taxi and head back to Piccadilly. The traffic's worse than you thought - everyone up here must still be on their lunch break! You're going to have to change workplace attitudes in these parts. You make it onto your train with only 17 minutes to spare and sink into the plushness of your reserved first class seat, safe in the knowledge that you have redistributed power safely and effectively to the regions. You'll sleep well tonight.

[Meghan Murphy @MeghanEMurphy]

Putting effort into your appearance in order to look attractive is not the same as pretending that your biological makeup has been altered in a way that is not humanly possible because you put on lipstick and got breast implants https://t.co/4yHZxOSl9H

[James Melville 🚜 @JamesMelville]

Andy Burnham opens No 10 North.

[Aja ♀️🇬🇧 @AjaTheEmpress]

I'm reminded of Bethany Hamilton, the epic surfer who lost her left arm when she was attacked by a shark at just 13.

*𝘋�� 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘧, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘧 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘮? 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘬, 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨*

Rip Curl dumped her because she dared to stand up for women, publicly opposing the World Surf League's policy of letting man in dresses to compete in the women's division.

Think about that for a second.
They threw away one of the most inspirational athletes on the planet to appease gender ideology.

They could have had a genuine sporting icon representing their brand. Instead, they chose men in dresses.

I hope corporations are finally waking up to the fact that people are sick of this trans nonsense and, more importantly, that we're prepared to vote with our wallets.

[adidas Basketball @adidasHoops]

Loud in pink.

The Sophie Cunningham Crazy Energy PE is available now.

🔗 Shop here: https://t.co/flUAziPzmp

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

Sophie Cunningham’s Adidas shoes sell out after she went viral for saying “no men in women’s sports.”

[James Boyd @RomeovilleKid]

#Fever guard Sophie Cunningham on her trans comments in ESPN:

“I said what I said. I think it’s kind of common sense. … I think it’s really important to protect children.”

“I don’t dislike anyone. … I’m there to love, but I’m also there to love biological women. …”

[ICONS @icons_women]

🎾Breaking: No men allowed in women’s professional tennis

The Women’s Tennis Association (WTA) implements sex-screening for all players “to preserve the integrity of women’s professional tennis and maintain fair competition conditions for all players…”

Thank you to tennis stars @Martina @ChrissieEvert and @SabalenkaA for being outspoken advocates of fair sport and equal opportunities for women. 👏👏👏

[Mark W. @DurhamWASP]

Burnham arrives at number 10

[Alper Üçok @AlperUcok]

Meanwhile, Germany's public TV broadcast ZDF...

[Darren Dutton @Darren_Dutton]

Well that’s one way to start your premiership

[Dan Walker @mrdanwalker]

When I wrote my piece on World Cup pundits, I wasn’t able to have more than 3 from the BBC but, in all honesty, I wanted to shove Micah Richards in there so I’m updating my 6 to a magnificent 7.

This is what I wrote about Micah

MICAH RICHARDS 9/10

When I first worked with Micah on Football Focus he was a wonderful breath of fresh air. His laugh was infectious, he was great fun to be around and you could tell he was desperate to listen and learn. He burst onto the scene in the best way possible.

He has become something very rare in punditry - someone who cuts across to those who rarely watch. Whether he is working with Roy Keane or Gary Lineker he always shines - even though he still doesn’t know what a half-volley is.

At this World Cup has been the ‘senior’ BBC pundit alongside Joe Hart and Wayne Rooney and they have looked brilliant because Micah has supported them so generously.

The BBC coverage of Argentina was first class and finding out afterwards that Micah had lost his dad before the game made his contribution even more remarkable. I confess to having a tear in my eye when I read about that.

Micah Richards is a rare gem and, in addition to that, if there was ever a pundit Royal Rumble, he’d trounce the lot of them.

[Athers @Athers83]

Controversial take but hear me out: I don’t think you have to share the same political views to think a 78 year old woman being bludgeoned to death in her own home is fucking awful

[Sharron Davies HoL MBE @sharrond62]

A government that gives 30 hrs free nursery cover to ‘not working’ parents has like so much, got this upside down yet again.

[Bertha Dalziel (high value man) @BertDalziel]

Asked my 5 year old and he said any attempt to redefine women without their consent from a sex class to a nebulous construct defined primarily by men was as incoherent as it was regressive. Kids, eh?

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Ok hear me out.

[Milli Hill @millihill]

This headline from @Independent
clearly blames the mother for this tragedy. In fact, the father was in charge of the toddler at the time.
https://t.co/Ys7X8DIgDY

[Christian Concern @CConcern]

1. 🚨BREAKING: County Durham and Darlington NHS Foundation Trust has paid £187,000 in damages, apologised, and committed to separate changing facilities for male and female staff following the Darlington nurses’ legal case.

In January, the Employment Tribunal had found the nurses suffered harassment and indirect sex discrimination over workplace changing-room arrangement.

The case, brought by seven nurses at Darlington Memorial Hospital, Bethany Hutchison, Lisa Lockey, Karen Danson, Tracy Hooper, Annice Grundy, Carly Hoy and Jane Peveller, was supported by the Christian Legal Centre, which has provided the nurses with legal, media and pastoral support from the beginning of their ordeal.

The case has become one of the most significant legal challenges in recent years concerning the freedom of female staff to access single-sex spaces in the workplace, with the nurses being compared to the Ford Dagenham workers and being dubbed ‘The Angels of the North.’

In January, Employment Judge Seamus Sweeney, ruled that the policy, which had been in place at the Trust for years allowing men who identify as women to access the female staff changing room, had amounted to unlawful discrimination.

Following extensive and at times deeply protracted negotiations, the Trust has now paid out £187,000 in damages to the nurses, which does not include legal costs, which are still to be decided at a further hearing.

This figure also does not include the Trust’s own legal costs of £603,000, and counting, spent on defending its position of allowing men into female changing rooms.

See more on our website and in this🧵to see the Trust's apology and commitments on single-sex spaces....

https://t.co/cYDzFL1cHL