cofcelder

Church of Christ elder--contending for the faith, protecting the church from ministers, ensuring we don't spend too much $ and the sermons aren't too long.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

@keith_brenton Except ministers. There's always justification.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

How To Keep Your Kid Safe On Halloween
https://t.co/CvYGeVMgdi

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

If your preacher uses the "A" word any time this month, remind Him we are to ignore the incarnation just like the Bible teaches.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

Just asked the song leader to work up an acappella arrangement of Thriller for this Sunday. That song's a toe-tapper. #doitoryourefired

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

@cofc_projector is better than last year when I gave out cough drops.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

If we can have an All Saints Day, why can't we have and Elder Day? We could spend the day saying, "No."

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

I'm dressing up as a Baptist for Halloween. I'm greasing my hair back and wearing a banner that says, "WRONG," across the front. Easy Peesy.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

Up with AWP pie gas. #pbl14

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

I will attend #pbl14 because I find no mention of @notmikecope anywhere in the New Testament & someone needs to shed light on this apostasy.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

I was just awakened by a bad dream. It was Sunday and people were laughing in the assembly, while the preacher was preached in jeans.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

The only thing that would make #tulsaw better is constant & intense elder control...by me.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

I hope our preacher is enjoying his one week’s vacation for the year to #tulsaw

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

Dear Richie Incognito : I understand you. Demeaning language and bullying is how we get our preacher to do stuff.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

I don't know what everyone is complaining about. Those Sochi bathrooms are much nicer than those at our church.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

I think that Richard Sherman would make a great elder. We have a mediocre preacher he could cover.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

A member just asked if it's sin to drink a beer during a Super Bowl party. I told him it's a sin not to.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

Some elders have wives of more noble character than they. It's not possible for my wife, bless her heart.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

It's Friday, but Sunday's coming! #firingday

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

We fired the preacher last Sunday. To be gracious, we decided to pay him through the end of the year.

[cofcelder @cofcelder]

Our deacons are as relevant as hieroglyphics to a baboon.