Mom of 2. 3 if you count my husband. Stainless steel cup enthusiast. Finding the funny in the everydays of marriage, parenthood, and navigating your 30s.
Watched Sword in the Stone with the kids last night. My 5 year old promptly knighted me with a plastic sword. My 3 year old also knighted me, but with a diaper cream spatula.
3: mommy there’s a dead bug on the floor
Me: okay let’s clean it up
3: why did it die?
Me: maybe someone asked it too many questions and it just died
3: why?
Me: because that happens sometimes
3: why?
Me: *lies on floor*
Hey moms, did you know the thing that happens when you sneeze also happens if you jump a trampoline at a trampoline park with your kids on a busy Saturday? I didn’t.
I just stopped everything and spent 45 minutes scrubbing and disinfecting every magnatile in the house because there was poop on one. So no, we do not all have the same 24 hours.
In case you were wondering what it’s like to have a 2 year old, mine just chugged her cup of milk like a frat boy, ran around the house, and then threw up her dinner between the couch cushions. We had cod.
What is the appropriate amount of time to help your child look for a tiny toy that you threw away last week because they haven’t played with it or asked for it until this very moment?
2.5 with snack: I wanna sit on your lap
Me: sorry honey no snacks on the couch
2.5: but I not on the couch I on your lap.
So anyway, if you’re looking for a good lawyer let me know.