Chris Coffey

Actor, musician, aspiring 2nd runner up on Chopped. @_chriscoffey on IG.

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

@guardian like I know what you’re getting at but you can’t just say the word “introduced” as if the man’s father wasn’t literally drumming in the greatest rock band of all time at that very moment

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Oh shit right twitter. Has this app not burned down yet?

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Where the fuck did Peter Piper go to pick pecks of peppers that were pre pickled? A step that decidedly comes after the picking process

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Super grateful for my agents and the 4 auditions they got me for this week but guys this is too many words and songs to learn at once

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Let’s see how long I remember that I have this account this time

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

QUICK brag but I had three former students book bway/national tours THIS WEEK. Who needs a voice lesson? 😬

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

The words that I haven’t been able to find in the last like 10-15 years are all right here.

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

A little over two weeks ago, a user on Twitter posted a joke claiming, with a knowing wink, that J.D. Vance, the junior senator from Ohio and Trump’s running mate, had been quite intimate with an alluring chesterfield.

(long thread)

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Had a callback today and Tim Walz told me from behind the table “we want you to be the right person for the role as badly as you want to be”

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

There’s something almost poetic about the people pearl-clutching over the opening ceremony being the same folks who are trying to dismantle the department of education.

I’d call them uncultured plebeians, but even the plebeians knew about bacchanalia.

Read a fuckin’ book.

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

If you can’t see that Biden does not have the confidence of the majority of millennial & gen z liberals (aka the demographics required to win this election) you are absolutely part of the problem. Forcing young people to vote for him is simply not going to work.

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

“The media is asking for the wrong guy to step down.”

No. Nope. No. The media and anyone with half a brain know damn well that 45 doesn’t give a singular fuck about what the media says and that any calls for him to step down will just fuel the fire.

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Hey Twitter been a minute how we doing?

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

@AnnaNoelleDua Big Anna W

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Can someone please check on tbp this is even more unhinged than usual

Actually no you know what let the man live. After yesterday we all need this right now

[e - The Bratt Pack @TheBrattPack63]

As a born and raised die hard rangers fan, I think Igor deserves more tbh

The guy is the heart and soul of the franchise and we need to show him what he's worth!

I think the Rangers should start the negotiations at 15 mil a year ♥️

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Hm all those “what ever happened to innocent until proven guilty?” folks have been oddly quiet the last few days wonder why

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

A lot of y’all don’t seem to understand how jury selection works

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJH okay good talk

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Is there any better feeling than seeing your dogs after a month and a half away? I genuinely don’t think so.

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

@RepStefanik Is this u

[Chris Coffey @coffey_]

Yo @netflix here’s the thing. I travel for work. The average contract is 6-8 weeks. It gets lonely. It’s nice to simultaneously watch shows with my wife while she’s at our home. I can no longer do that because of your “this is the wrong address” bullshit. Let’s fix it please.