Since twitter gave me 280 characters... this is how imma use it
Stop being so sensitive
Stop being so sensitive
Stop being so sensitive
Stop being so sensitive
Stop being so sensitive
Stop being so sensitive
Stop being so sensitive
Hopefully this doesn’t offend anyone...
*walks into a psychic reading place*
me: hey do you take walk-ins?
psychic: no sorry
me: dang.. alright.. *begins to leave*
psychic: but we knew you’d be coming in and asking that, so we made a reservation for you
me: you guys :’)
[getting a call from my dad]
dad: hey son. wanted to let you know that grandma fell while buying the ingredients for her famous chocolate cake and she’s not gonna make it
me: oh no
dad: yeah i’ll be making it instead
me: oh i thought you meant-
dad: because she’s dead