theo 🪐

• they/it • 23 • please dni -18 • gw: 124lbs • married 💍 •

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

• read me •

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

@yoouunghoon its volturi but fr reminds me of dakota fanning and jamie c bower !

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

i need shows with the people from my disney childhood, i see them doing interviews and i need the good vibes back with them being together again, just a feel good show that they have control over what they will and wont do, i understand those who wouldnt do it but i miss them 😭

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

my baby boy, i love him so much

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

@katerexia yes please!

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

i cut a few days ago, not much but i cant stop thinking about doing it more, the other spot i did i didnt take pics of tho, i have so many pics saved on my phone of all the times ive sh-ed tho i go through them sometimes bc i miss doing it as often as i did before

sfx makeup!

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

ive almost been awake a full 24 hours, wtaf is wrong with me, why cant i just sleep like a normal person

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

i dont want to be here anymore

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

ever since my cousin died i cant sleep much and idk why, idk if it has to do with our ages being close or what but im so fucked mentally and emotionally that its messing with my sleep and function, idek how to grieve him properly and if that is what is making it al worse

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

i just wish i was normal, i feel like im so beyond help

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

how likely is it that my husband will notice new scars if he hasnt seen me in 8 months bc of deployment? im cutting now anyway but idk if he will notice the new ones that heal or if they are deep enough to actually scar, he will leave me if he knows

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

well im now 23, at least i have my cat even if nothing else has panned out

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

i broke another streak of no sh and i barely have anyone i can actually talk to about it, im so alone here, i hate my life, i was supposed to be in a better place, finishing college this year and moving onto a job that paid really well and i am such a failure in my own life

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

my cousin passed away like two weeks ago and everything feels so fake, like how can this be real life? hes only a few years older than me, i feel so guilty and i know its so dumb bc i live so far away and i didnt know him as well as my other family but i just feel so shit

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

i think i may relapse with sh and its been 3 mths since scratching til i bled and 3 yrs ish since i last cut, i feel alone with how my personal life is affecting me in other facets of my life due to my husband being deployed and having no friends near me, not even my sister :/

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

i hate how much my life has turned into nothing i expected or even what other people expected for me when i was younger, i just want to die, i dont want to exist anymore, i hate myself just as much as i did when i was 7 and im tired of it all, i just want it to end

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

my husband shaved my cat and cut his whiskers, i am at such a loss for words but now i have to leave him, theres no question about it

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

@gunsnrosesgirl3 tofu

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

niamh is 3 years old 😭 they grow up so fast

[theo 🪐 @coldburn]

idk how to explain it very well but it feels incredibly weird knowing i havent self harmed in like 2 years and it almost feels like im losing a piece of myself and like im not truly me bc i havent done it in so long when i did it for like 10+ years, its such an odd feeling