Colleen Toporek

Writer, editor, binder. Measured out with coffee spoons.

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

Weltschmerz: the melancholy realization that you'll never love anything the way you loved pepperoni pizza when you were 13.

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@SKleinedler I am so sorry for your loss. Sending love.

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@chuckdude Wow. That’s terrible.

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

. @GovRonDeSantis please don’t accept any deep state money from sleepy joe, they’ll just use it to put rigged voting machines on every street corner with secret doors to sanctuary cities!!! 🥺

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

I just subscribed to Butt News https://t.co/OKue7vni9K. Because there can never be enough Lindy West!!

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

Good morning! Today’s a good day for a Klonopin! 😃

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@nothe @chuckdude Thank you 💛

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

I honestly have enough pajamas.

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@chuckdude YESSSS!!

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@cyborgyndroid No! This is not true, don’t listen to that voice. It is a liar. Sending you love and light. 💛

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@chuckdude . @dhmspector, it was positive news; we’re just feeling a little punchy these days. @petdance, I have brain cancer but the doctors are optimistic. Sorry for the abrupt news—we’re hanging in there.

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

. @kristenschaaled is a freaking superstar and a national treasure. We don’t deserve her but I am THANKFUL 🤩. #BobsBurgersMovie https://t.co/ajpvXXI2lR

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

The Jan. 6 hearings are riveting today. 🤯 #January6thHearings

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

DO NOT EF WITH JEFFREY ROSEN. 🔥

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

Today I assembled a 200-piece LEGO set and I am pretty dang tired. Recovery from these surgeries is a proceeding ever so slowly… Time for a nap.

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

Is it late to say that Our Flag Means Death is brilliant, hilarious, and heartbreaking? HBO, we MUST have another season; this show is pure gold. ⭐️💛🔥 #OurFlagMeansDeath

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@chuckdude A MALINGERER!!

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@chuckdude Malingering. 💥

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

@chuckdude They’re not the only ones to wonder…

[Colleen Toporek @colleenish]

Balenciaga crocs. Think about THAT.