sam

BSc (Hons) Psych (Open), MSc Psychology of Coercive Control, Safeguarding Manager. Passionate about making change.

[sam @collette1210]

@LeilaniDowding Or how he behaves to her behind closed doors

[sam @collette1210]

Let’s not minimise that eh?

[sam @collette1210]

@andrewbillen just seen the link to your article on Huw Edward’s and the headline is appalling and minimising. my response; Anxious concealment?? Wow talk about minimising language…. He’s pleaded guilty to serious sexual offences.. I wonder what life his victims have lived 1/2

[sam @collette1210]

@JMoncktonSmith @suejhaile50 Thank you so much. It was great to hear you in person. I often refer to the 8stages when reviewing cases. The outcomes were very insightful and I’m also keen to hear how the pilot goes. Came away with lots to think about and consider.

[Prof Jane Monckton Smith OBE @JMoncktonSmith]

Don’t be fooled. If there’s stalking after a separation:
Never go for a last chance holiday, drink etc
They’re not safe just because there’s a new girlfriend
Grand gestures come with a price.
#HomicideTimeline #8Stages

[sam @collette1210]

This right here ⬇️ make the perpetrator accountable. Lost count of how many times here ‘case closed’ and mum is ‘acting protectively’, meanwhile perp is blatantly carrying on regardless and unchecked 🤔

[David Mandel @davidgmandel]

This is a common conversation I've had with child protection social workers. Let me know if it feels familiar:

Me: You should work with fathers.

Them: But what if they don't follow through on our expectations of them.

Me: What do you do if a mother doesn't follow through on important expectations related to child safety and well-being?

Them: We take her court.

Me: Then just do the same for fathers who you feel are failing to engage around the safety and well-being of their children

Them: *awkward silence*

It wasn't them personally. It was a system that that didn't train or expect them to work with fathers, let alone violent fathers. They were trained to #IgnoreFathers contributions to family functioning, positive or negative. This is not fair to fathers, mothers, children or our communities.

[Belstaffie @Belstaffie]

Men listen to men, we all know that. I noticed it profoundly in a male prison environment.
Come on men!
Talk to other men about child sexual abuse, pornography, prostitution, misogyny, consent, rape!
Men listen to other men.

[sam @collette1210]

@Cobratate Ok so appears that the below was not a parody and is alive and well. I work full-time and my MAN is more than happy with what I bring to our relationship and doesn’t feel threatened at all. Maybe he should set up a ‘university’ to show you insecure little boys how its done

[sam @collette1210]

@SarahCactus1 @JMoncktonSmith I have actually seen this when we’ve received info from another force. It had the DASH and then where on the HT it sat.
I’ve personally used it within reviews although we don’t officially use it. Some cases I am literally seeing the HT map in my mind as I’m reviewing.

[sam @collette1210]

@PEGS_support @DrAmandaHolt @metpoliceuk *shone*

[sam @collette1210]

@PEGS_support @DrAmandaHolt @metpoliceuk Fantastic presentation. Your passion shine through and so insightful. Thank you so much

[sam @collette1210]

@KerryDaynes I have literally just said the same thing. It’s getting ridiculous now

[Dr Graham Hill @DrGrahamHill1]

Couzens deviant sexual arousal was clearly spiralling out of control long before he killed. When a sexual predators behaviour goes unchecked it emboldens them to take more risks. This is why police must always deal robustly with early red flag offences.

https://t.co/mteQhukMlw

[sam @collette1210]

@PhilTragenPhoto @loolabella @nickmurftweets Your initial tweet mentions ‘tiny minority’ but this last tweet mentions ‘plenty’ of men you’ve met that you wouldn’t leave alone with your mum. So in your own world there are ‘plenty’. Times that by the actual whole world and we ain’t got a ‘tiny minority’ anymore have we?

[sam @collette1210]

Sat with my ‘dissertation outline proposal’ form in front of me. Suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. So many thoughts whirling in my brain but the focus will be on the perpetrators..

[Dr Emma Katz @DrEmmaKatz]

Abusers who have a high sense of entitlement & get into rages do NOT usually have anger management problems.

Their rages are fuelled by their sense of entitlement.

Anger management is not the fix here.

No fix stands a chance unless their sense of entitlement is addressed.

[sam @collette1210]

@bindelj Not a ‘puppy’ but a poorly big dog snuggled up to ‘mum’

[Dr Emma Katz @DrEmmaKatz]

A reminder:

If someone is setting up a dynamic of abuse in a family/relationship, exploiting the power & control they have to systematically abuse, dominate & harm you

Then resisting them physically or verbally does not make you abusive or make this 'mutual abuse'! #DVAM

[Charlotte Kneer MBE @C_Kneer]

Domestic abuse is about power and control. An abuser will not attempt to control their boss as the power dynamic prevents it. So, an abuser getting a character reference from their boss at their trial is laughable.