Na niliwaambia vijana,the only person who has the previledge of saying “I am the prize” to a woman is he who is at the top 10% economicwise or societal wise. Sisi wengine lazima tudanganyilie hii watu,otherwise utalalia ngumi miaka mingi sana ukijiita prize. Prize ya nini na uko line ya Embassava? Hawa wasichana wanataka uwongo,and believe me when I tell you they dont want the truth,they cant handle it and it doesn’t activate their neurons. Its boring!
Wasichana wanataka uwongo. Danganya wao kapsaa. Mimi huwa nawadanganya kulingana na kwenye tumepatana. Sasa kama leo nimetoka nakuru kuweka CCTV,huko nimeambia iyo msichana ya jirani hii kampuni yetu tunauzanga mpaka bunduki lakini lazima ukuje na certificate kutoka embassy ya US. Na nikamuachia namba,wasichana unajua hawafikiriangi,kwanza akiona wewe ni bad boy akili inazima
Mwingine wakati nilikua nakimbiza zebra kule Longonot nilimuambia nafanya na NGO ya wildlife. Kumbe niko hustle ya kukaribisha wanyama kwa barabara ndio tourist wawaone. Next week nilikua nimeangusha yeye. Huyu wa nakuru nampatia 2 weeks maximum. Wewe shinda hapo ukijiita prize na kiatu ni Adibbas. Ngumi utalalia uitane. Danganya warembo kama Ruto. Khabusie!
Last month I went for a short visit in Arusha only to realize that the house I had leased on the AirBNB app was actually a separate tiny bedsitter of a 4bedroom house and not 1 bedroom as indicated in the app. Kumbe huko bedsitter wanaziita one bedroom buana. I was being charged 15k for 4 days. But I didnt like it.
So I asked how much the 4bdrm would cost and he said I had to top up 45 sausand to cover 4 days fully. Thats about 900,000Tzs. Na juu ilikua usiku na nimechoka,nikasema sawa. Na mimi nikasema nyinyi hamnijui,I told the host to prepare all the beds in the 4 bedrooms.
Lemme tell you maina, I have not exercised my free will like that for a very long time. Me and my south african dictator were cooking naked in the kitchen. Chakula tunakulia chini ya dining table,the house it was so big. Usiku Masaa ya bad manners tunachange bedrooms after every two hours kama tuko movie ya Tyler perry. Tuko hapo tumefuatana nyuma saa nane usiku tumebeba pillow zetu uchi kama khoisans wanamigrate
In the morning I could tell the host wanted to ask me how we slept in the 4 bedrooms. Mimi naye nasemanga hii pesa tunaitafutanga tuitumie si tuiweke kwa bank. It will take me months to recover but i cant complain. Nawaombea sana vijana mpate pesa muweze kuskia msuri namna vile niliskia. Anyway,kabej mchele for supper mpaka turudi kwa hesabu,hivo ndio imesemekana
Khabusie!