Colton Edwards Sr.

Software Engineer / Wizard | don't take me too seriously

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

I've been waiting for this moment my entire life

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

@blockmeplz Was disappointed to discover the design on your shirt is not the Bass Pro Shops logo

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

@blockmeplz Sure!

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

@blockmeplz Upset at Twitter for just now letting me know you’re back

[Passive Drivers @Passivedrivers]

Aaaand WE’RE BACK!! Come see our first show of 2023. We’re playing this event with some other rad bands. Y’all check them out and come out to support your favorite local rockers! 🤘🏼

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

@TonyyLive @_TonyyRodriguez Just a reminder

[Juan @_ayojuan]

sometimes I call the number on the dog missing posters and just bark 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

@Und3rWat3rBoi Thought I was the only one who started with beans

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

I was a really funny 15 yr old

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

When I bought 25 copies of The Naked Brothers Band Video Game, they laughed at me. Now, stores are closing, shelves are empty, & we’re told to stay home.
Who is laughing now?? Where exactly do you think you’re going to find The Naked Brothers Band Video Game in times like these?

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

Wondered why I always looked bad in pictures then realized I’m just ugly

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

@sallykatcodes I can see your uvula

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

@SanguineTony Ha!

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

My dad likes Long John Silver’s but I still love him

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

Loudly saying “oohh I know this song” halfway through the national anthem

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

BREAKING: Copyright claim filed against the entirety of America’s youth; Alphabet song sounds “shockingly similar” to the hit single ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’

More at 9.

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

Do you remember that “HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD” commercial or was that a fever dream

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

@yourkayleeejean Twitter doesn’t put the downvote button on my tweets because they know nobody would ever use it

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

Yeah I recycle, been wearing the same underwear for 6 days 👍🏻

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

If you claim to be named Stanley and you “live in Delaware” I would like to speak with you.

[Colton Edwards Sr. @coltone14]

Couldn’t go back to sleep last night after realizing I’ve never met anyone named Stanley in real life… starting to think it’s like Delaware (not a real thing, government hoax, etc.)