Christopher Stewart

Actor. Improvisor. Comedian. Writer. Occasionally a smooth dude. Mostly a goofball. Currently playing Xander in @improvisedbuffy monthly at the Kraine Theatre

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

Mickey got excited about popping Gus' back zits. Is this a common thing in relationships or does @JuddApatow just magically knows my life.

[Machine Pun Kelly 🇺🇦 @KellyScaletta]

He was the worst President in history. And when he got voted out, he tried to stage a coup. Then he stole national secrets and sold the ones he didn't store in the bathroom.

He was convicted of fraud, found liable of sexual assault and convicted of 34 felonies. He is half a billion dollars in debt, owned by God only knows who, and the biggest national security risk the nation has ever had.

But at least he's not a Black woman.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@GWasherballs @ninaturner Prime example of “tell me you don’t understand history without telling me you don’t understand history”

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@didaskeptic @jessiegender She literally tweeted “Merry Terfmas”. You can’t clearly or succinctly show you are anti-trans than that.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@hasanminhaj you made @Jeopardy the most fun it’s ever been. I’d watch Jeopardy every day if you were on it.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

Anyone realize the words succinct and succinctness themselves are not succinct or have succinctness.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

Check out The Last of Us and come make some jokes with me about a zombie outbreak! https://t.co/KnKP08XM9w

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@AmericanAir Also. You had people stay at the desk for about 10 min after we deplaned and there hasn’t been anyone there since.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

Shame on you @AmericanAir. Charging close to 1900 dollars for 2 tickets to Gainesville and you have planes with part failures causing deplaning. I should not be paying over a months rent for this. Flight AA3760

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@AmericanAir Those are nice words, but how can you make this right? I now have to spend an additional 300 dollars for a car rental because my plans are falling through. And the next flight out to another city I’m willing to go to isn’t for an additional 5 hours when Ft Worth is a hub for you.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

There’s a special place in Hell for people who call a customer service line 2 minutes before close and take 30 minutes to ask their questions and ask the same questions over and over.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@LydenCooper A few years? Dude’s been on SNL since 2014. Almost a full decade. I guarantee he hasn’t done an open mic for 9 or 10.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

I’ve been making my way through my childhood favorite show and decided to pick up the next spinoff series. After the melodrama of “SAVE THE WORLD FROM EVIL EVERY EPISODE”, having the tone of “Oh no I’m gonna get kicked out of Duel Academy!” makes me laugh so hard. #yugioh

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

We’re all thinking it right? Pete Davidson and T-Swift yeah?

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@tarahsackett SNL must have been short a sketch this week to have her do the full 10 min version live.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@YungEnchantress I feel this hard. I’m such an advocate for this except when it comes to myself. Often I’ll be like, “Oh I want to replay TLOU or God of War, and it’s like I don’t want to get stuck.” I still don’t use the story mode. But that’s just me working on my internalized toxic masculinity

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

Why is it the day that I start #SquidGame, the neighborhood kids play Green Light, Red Light right outside my window? I’m thoroughly creeped out.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

Yes you’ve tripped so hard you questioned life’s existence, but have you tripped so hard that you question life’s existence and shopped for term life insurance?

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

All the hate on Lil Nas X for sexuality needs to stop right now. Where was this outrage when Katy Perry made herself a LITERAL cream pie with “California Girls”?

You all are just mad that you got turned on by two guys getting it on. #lilnasX #StopHate

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@JohnnyMcNulty “I’m going to make an opinion look like a statement and claim it as fact. It sucks but unless you can prove me wrong, I’m right.”
What a load of crock.

[Christopher Stewart @comicallychris]

@conorsaidwhat Some people have no sense of risk/reward.