conjon

facetious, cheeky, indefatigable, pragmatic ••• the modal of lost opportunities does not exist ••• HOLDLG

[conjon @con_jon31]

Sleep 7+ hours, drink water, eat nutrient food, move your body, and walk in the sun then circle back to those problems you thought you had. The ones outside of your control will disappear and what’s left is yours to handle with a clear mind. #BeStoic

[conjon @con_jon31]

@Oikos found a used contact in my yogurt

[conjon @con_jon31]

“How do you want the neckline?”
“….however the neckline is?”

[conjon @con_jon31]

Unpopular opinion: if you DONT eat the last item of a shared app, you’re selfish.

[conjon @con_jon31]

HIMBAPPE

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

This is like when you found out Santa isn’t real

[Spencer Grubbs @sgrubbsFB]

.@TSSAA called this short, need an explanation on this one. Refs love that power man!

[conjon @con_jon31]

@Ryanair flew me to the WRONG AIRPORT: 2+ months (originally a 7 business day lead time), 6 calls requesting an update where the rep made an empty promise my claim was escalated w/o any form of confirmation (every time waiting an hour on hold) I’ve still not been compensated 🖕

[conjon @con_jon31]

I’ve spent the last few months of my military career experimenting with this theory. I’m conclusion, If you give zero fucks, you actually make life much harder than it has to be. There’s a sweet spot right above giving no fucks where you can navigate life blissfully unbothered.

[conjon @con_jon31]

And i still look like a deer in the headlights out in town.

[conjon @con_jon31]

“Community” is just a “Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide” reboot.

[conjon @con_jon31]

“I don’t really watch that much TV”

[conjon @con_jon31]

Should I do time for stealing a blanket from first class?

[conjon @con_jon31]

Hitting a week’s worth of hydration in the airport security line just to refill it immediately on the other side

[conjon @con_jon31]

Get ready for a dog fight

[Unnecessary Roughness @UnnecRoughness]

Kansas has a Spanish broadcast for their games and it RULES

[conjon @con_jon31]

Women want body appreciation and then immediately shit on CrossFit women for their bodies 😂

[conjon @con_jon31]

Im team eggs with ketchup.

[conjon @con_jon31]

Brits when they say “rubbish”

[conjon @con_jon31]

no context that first sentence AYOOOO

[Craig Roh @craigroh]

🔥When you’re being double teamed, never stop your feet.

Instead keep your feet moving so you can recapture your gap when the adjacent blocker leaves.

[conjon @con_jon31]

People who don’t watch sports think they have a PhD in maturity.