Dr. Condor

I am the most famous person you've never met.

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

I tried to order the new @MelBrooks biography and this arrived. I think the embalmer did a really nice job 😭😭😭

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

@meltzerp A rarity - birds of prey tend to lurk in the shadows until they are ready to strike

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

My post frequency may be irregular, but the intense assortment of smells on the subway remains constant. #ILoveNY #MTA

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

My neck hurts. #ShitViolinistsSay

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

If you write "results-driven achiever" on your resume, you're probably not. #CareerAdvice

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

"Let's be honest, when you have a friend from Sweden we're not talking about a dude." #OverHeardInMidtown

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

There are 2 types of people in this world. Those who drop their phones in the toilet and those who don't. #WednesdayWisdom

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

Guy working his #Tinder account in front of me on the subway is executing some highly questionable swipes.

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

Which is longer: a good 10 minutes or a solid 10 minutes?

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

Humans are living longer but refrigerators are dying sooner. This is troubling.

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

Hare Krishnas doing what they do to drums in grand central tonight. #IfYouSeeSomethingSaySomething

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

I think I've been self-absorbed lately. Let's talk about it.

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

A subway preacher and a subway performer with a cheap synthesizer arguing loudly over who was there first. #NoOneWantsToHearFromEitherOfYou

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

Always reach for the highest possible place to hold on when riding the subway because tall people carry superior germs. #iLoveNY

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

If you're a parent and you don't like to waste food, you end up eating some disgusting food. #Kids

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

"Stay dry" is a weird thing for an adult to say to another adult. Especially when they are strangers. And the rain is clearly unavoidable.

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

One good thing about listening to country music is you get to say things like "nice dobro, bro."

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

@meltzerp Thats what allowance is for. And then make them spend it on coffee for you while they pee. #ShouldveGoneBeforeWeLeftLikeIToldYou

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

"Yes! The #ProBowl is on!" #SaidNoOneEver

[Dr. Condor @condormd]

Appreciating a squirrel. #DumbWaysIHurtMyself #NationalSquirrelAppreciationDay