scott evil

super hot and cool and wise beyond my years yet also very chill and humble

[dakota @im2hai]

hinge is like omg yay Shit from a Butt liked me

[Rose @24kRose_]

I’ll honk at anyone in traffic. I’ll worry about what gun you got later

[scott evil @confusedGail]

Did Celsius make the cans look like that so it’s easier for me to walk around w/ a cooler and have nobody know the difference ???

[scott evil @confusedGail]

Ugh not the yeehaw honky tonk fkn drunks behind my place arguing about who’s stolen shit is who’s when realistically we alllllll know it’s 𝐦𝐲 shit 🫤🫪

[scott evil @confusedGail]

I was born to spend 90% of my time titties out on a beach collecting shells and working only 7.6% of the time

[thanatos @PEZOLCFTD]

AND SO ACTUALLY THE REASON I’M SINGLE IS BECAUSE I HAVE PRAYED FOR A TRUE LOVE AND NOBODY IS MAKING THE CUT YET. I’M PROTECTED FROM MEDIOCRITY. THAT’S THE ONLY REASON. NO FURTHER QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME. THANK YOU.

[mensch @signoremosca]

Vyvanse gives you superhuman stamina and immunity to boredom but in return you lose the ability to love

[daisy @ihatedai]

One time I called a nigga ugly to everybody I know then started dating him, u rly can’t trust a lot of sht I say

[scott evil @confusedGail]

I luv being a dumb freaky cheeky lil bitch

[britney spears @iserveboof]

I love when Ppl sneak diss me cus It’s like u knew u couldn’t Say no shit like that to me Directly U know ur Place & i Admire that

[Edie @3edie3]

going on MasterChef with an eating disorder and making coffee and cigarettes every time

[dazzling @UtterlyVapid]

Good for Olivia Rodrigo. That was a fantastic album. I might k*ll myself.

[Victoria Rose @woahhvickyyy]

You want me to be your girlfriend until | tap my pistol on your windshield

[RuPaul @RuPaul]

I believe the children are our future, teach them well and they will steal the money right out of your purse #TrustNoBitch

[andrew @intellegint]

Due to social media and the fear of being recorded, mooning is a lost art

[Jalen @jjjjjjalen]

We like 2 summers away from straight men carrying Chanel flap bags. Ladies I’m so sorry

[🏴‍☠️ @ANOINTEDCHIEF]

If someone slime you on a small level that’s a foreshadow

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

[deleting tweet] too coherent

[🌪️ @idealistcnt]

all u have is perspective. no matter what u think is happening, you decide what it is. you decide your perspective.