Connor Keegan

gritizen of the world. sometimes funny. well, almost funny... occasionally.

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Urban Meyer hates Beaver Stadium chicken finger baskets #OhioStateHateWeek #UrbanMonster

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

jerry maguire hits a little differently in your mid-twenties.

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

@niquiche I feel this WAY too deeply

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

@rach__w_ @LauraLovins My dad is partial to the post-route recap... “so did you go 422 to 76 to the rt 1 exit and then...” does it really matter I’m here now

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Parents: we’ll be there at 10:10. can you make 10:10? see you at 10:10

Parents at 10:20: we’ll be there in 10-15 minutes.

😐

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

@guhhnatt if you’re just now discovering VM welcome to paradise it’s pure gold

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Just saw a girl in the airport eating a salad out of a quart sized ziploc bag that she brought and she is my life coach now

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

@niquiche I am here for your commentary anytime 🙋🏼‍♀️

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Turns out this guy divorced her mom, caused a huge family rift, didn’t meet his daughter until she was 18 and the two haven’t spoken into years. They met again at the dentist and talked about when it will rain today I feel like I was just in the twilight zone happy Thursday

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Sitting in my dentist’s waiting room, an older man walks in. Minutes later, a woman walks in and the two make small talk like casual acquaintances. Out of nowhere, woman awkwardly says “just so you know, the past is the past” and man says “I agree, what past?” lol awkward laughs

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Immediately I’m intrigued. What happened in the past? What are the odds that these two people with a past ran into each other at the dentist at 7 am on a Thursday? Man gets called back. Woman turns to me and says “wow, that was my biological father.”

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Season two of @MINDHUNTER_ out today so you know I’m glued to the couch until I get through it all this is my mission I will succeed I have snacks

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Girl I work with: “Taking any time off this month?”

Me: “I’ll be working remote one week but not really taking time”

Girl: “Cool”

Girl later in the day: *sends invite to office-wide BBQ during the week I’m out that she planned today*

Me: k.

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

@c0bly Ooof we need to have a conversation

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

@rach__w_ Yes. Head of Human Resources.

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

One day when I run my own business I will have one rule and one rule only and that is if your computer mouse makes a clicking sound when you scroll then you are terminated immediately don’t claim wrongful term that is absolutely just cause thank you for coming to my ted talk

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

My two fave racquet swingers won this weekend what a great tourney #wimbeldon2019

[Gritty @GrittyNHL]

The happiest place on earth

[Gritty @GrittyNHL]

YAASS QUEENS!!
#OneNationOneTeam

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

The office this week...
Monday: team lunch
Tuesday: bagel day
Wednesday: ice cream sundae party
Thursday: soft pretzel day

what is summer bod 👋🏻

[Connor Keegan @congrrrrrr]

Leave work early on a Friday and get hit by a falling branch while sitting at a light on the way home is this a sign