Conor

[Conor @conor_es]

doing the sabrina carpenter “have you ever tried….. THIS one?” bit to my roommate and then acting out emptying the dishwasher

[Conor @conor_es]

@urapunkstaypunk thank you!

[Conor @conor_es]

everyone loves to say stuff like “be the change you want to see in the world” but it’s a different story when i try to ban people from speaking east asian languages in my gay badminton club

[Conor @conor_es]

belgium horrifyingly manages to combine two deeply upsetting elements of public life: hearing people speak dutch and hearing people speak french

[Conor @conor_es]

got a haircut and the barber said “your hair looks so good man, did u get a hair transplant?” and i said no and he said “maybe you should consider it”

[Conor @conor_es]

i heard a meowing at my kitchen window and i was like oooooh the stray cat i sometimes feed is back for more!! so i went over and yes he was back but this time he brought me something - a not even fully dead pigeon gushing blood

[Conor @conor_es]

@orlabd teeeeeeeeea

[Conor @conor_es]

was playing badminton in a sleeveless t shirt and my (dutch) opponent was like wow the tattoos on your arm are so…… sorry i can’t remember the word in english let me look it up……….. uncohesive

[Conor @conor_es]

every time i come home my mam has found a new, even more concentrated setting for the shower head. she won’t rest until the water comes out in a single jet that pierces clean through my body

[Conor @conor_es]

australians shouldn’t be allowed to speak english… please leave us in peace

[Conor @conor_es]

getting into the christmas spirit

[Conor @conor_es]

one thing about me is i'm voting in instagram polls.... someone i met ten years ago on erasmus and haven't spoken to since asks yes or no about a new dress she bought? i'm voting. and i'm being Honest

[Conor @conor_es]

i hate when recipes are like “this uses lots of ingredients you probably have at home already” fuck off you don’t know anything about me or my home

[Conor @conor_es]

roadworks outside the anne frank house..... has she not been through enough

[Conor @conor_es]

pretending i don’t care about my baggage so it appears on the conveyer belt faster

[Conor @conor_es]

fellas watch out if u use the lynx africa dupe from lidl (cien kenya) i took a shower with it and then when i left my house loads of women started barking at me, frothing at the mouth, etc. just feral responses

[Conor @conor_es]

a switch flicked in my brain when i turned 30 and suddenly every item of clothing in marks and spencer’s is the chicest garment i’ve ever seen

[Conor @conor_es]

there is nothing like being back in the suburbs to remind myself how bad dublin bus is. i should have considered this when i got the literal dublin bus logo tattooed on my body four years ago while living in town

[Conor @conor_es]

just saw while browsing the web on my macbook that there's some kind of tech problem with windows computers..... doesn't affect me because i have a macbook, can anyone who doesn't have a macbook (like i do) explain the situation