conor with one n

carefree wherever you may be. prolific antagonist.

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

This breaks my heart

[Today In History @historigins]

These are some of the most heartbreaking moments...

A thread 🧵

1. Bruce Willis turned 70 this year, and due to memory loss, he no longer remembers that he was a famous and highly accomplished actor

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

This thread is terrifying

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

Nasa called they want to explore your vagina

[george @StokeyyG2]

Lily Phillips has announced she is going for the world record of shagging 1000 men in one day…

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

@Cian_McGivern Cable mcflys

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

You need to get right with Jesus

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

As a plasterer I spit in almost every mix, when I die I like to think my DNA is immortalised in thousands of walls and ceilings across the south east of England. I also piss in bottles and leave them in walls but that's because I'm disgusting.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

As a plasterer I spit in almost every mix, when I die I like to think my DNA is immortalised in thousands of walls and ceilings across the south east of England. I also piss in bottles and leave them in walls but that's because I'm disgusting.

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

Hi my names Conor and I’m watching the pod race scene from Star Wars phantom menace on repeat till I get bored of the ear orgasm the sound effects of Sebulbas engine gives me.

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

DC trying to poisen my god damn mind that’s what they’re doin

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

DC cooked with catwoman

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

@roxeysrx The sofas wear and tear and the 3 trips to the bathroom spun me 😂

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

At 31 years old I’ve just discovered that it’s stinging nettles and not stingy nettles. 31 years old.

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

I can smell and taste this tweet and im pretty sure its in my eyes and ears too

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Alligator shear cutting through metal
https://t.co/F7BgBziqck

[Joey Swoll @TheJoeySwoll]

You can go to the gym, eat healthy, drink your water, and take your vitamins but if you don't deal with the bullshit going on in your heart and head, you're still going to be unhealthy.

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

That might be the funniest thing ever ever read in my life

[Andrew Tate @Cobratate]

Dolphins are just gay sharks.

[Scott Bryan @scottygb]

Oh no someone just played the sex tape on Radio 1

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

💉💉

[Culture Crave 🍿 @CultureCrave]

Isabela Merced says there’s a scene so 'disgusting' in #AlienRomulus that the cast and crew had to turn away

(via @THR)

[Sisyphus @0xSisyphus]

Do crackheads ever say, “I’m too broke to smoke crack tonight”?

No. They get up and make it happen.

Lesson in there.

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

All this Kat williams word vomit is hilarious. Its an obvious ploy to distract anyone from gathering evidence that is he is clearly Prince and Floyd Mayweathers love child

[Xaniken @Xaniken]

Lots of alien discourse on the TL so I want my position to be clear. If me and the boys are the first people an alien meets on earth we are stealing all of the copper wiring from his ship for meth money

[conor with one n @conormaltz_]

Waking up thinking you have work and then realising you dont because you’re currently unemployed is like paying £12 a month for the postcode lottery realising youve won but its only a 10er