conversations with friends bot

posting quotes from “conversations with friends” by sally rooney every 30 minutes | @melodrxmx

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

I can’t remember if I thought about this at the beginning. How it was doomed to end unhappily. He nodded, looking at me. I did, he said. I just thought it would be worth it.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

he would almost certainly miss our set unless it started sometime after half ten. I told him I would see what I could do, but not to worry if he couldn’t make it. He replied saying: oh well, it wouldn’t be very reciprocal then, would it?

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

You tell yourself stories about it. Oh well, Bobbi’s rich, Nick’s a man, I can’t hurt these people. If anything they’re out to hurt me and I’m defending myself.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

Was I kind to others? It was hard to nail down an answer. I worried that if I did turn out to have a personality, it would be one of the unkind ones.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

You know I went up to my room and waited for you, right? I mean for hours. And at first I really thought you would come. It was probably the most wretched I ever felt in my life

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

I wrote a sample message, and then deleted the draft in case I might accidentally hit send. Then I wrote the same thing over again. I sat staring at my laptop screen until it went black. Things matter to me more than they do to normal people.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

There’s something appealingly evil about it. Bobbi agreed with her. Like you’ve been drinking blood, she said. And Melissa laughed and said: yes, sacrificing virgins.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

I think I only appear smart by staying quiet as often as possible

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

I sent him messages late at night confessing that I was lonely in school, that the other girls didn’t seem to understand me. I wish I had a boyfriend, I wrote.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

That afternoon I lay on my bed smoking with the window open, dressed in a vest and my underwear. I was hungover and still hadn’t heard from Bobbi.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

Even though I had known Nick didn’t love me, I had continued to let him have sex with me whenever he wanted, out of desperation and a naive hope that he didn’t understand what he was inflicting on me.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

Well, but what does it mean for a relationship to 'work out'? He said. It was never going to be something conventional. If two people make each other happy then it's working

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

Sometimes while we talked I typed his name into Google and looked at photographs of him, to remind me what he looked like. I read everything about him on the internet and often emailed him quotes from his own interviews, even after he asked me to stop.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

When you broke up with me I felt you beat me at a game we were playing together, and I wanted to come back and beat you. Now I think I just want to sleep with you, without metaphors.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

I liked to feel that he was my collaborator. I liked to think of him waking up at night and thinking of me

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

She started to laugh and I laughed too, from the joy of being alone with her.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

It was sort of intoxicating. I couldn’t decide if I had complete control over you or no control at all.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

I’d happened on a whole selection of shirtless photographs, most of which showed him looking younger, coming out of a swimming pool or showering on a TV show that had long ago been cancelled. I sent Bobbi a link to one of these photographs with the message: trophy husband.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

Since when have you loved me? I said. Since I met you.

[conversations with friends bot @convwfriendsbot]

When we came out of the theater it was raining again. I felt pure and tiny like a newborn baby.