gorlami

[Atlanta Hawks @ATLHawks]

The schedule is (bird) calling 🗣️

[world’s #1 tomato larper 🍅🪶 @SquashFold]

The might be the best graph I’ve ever seen in my life

[gorlami @coob_er]

You see how this looks, right?

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound.

An American immediately said, "I got a guy."

He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage.

I asked who the guy was.

He said, "Just a guy."

He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage."

That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family.

I asked how he found this guy.

"My brother-in-law used him."

I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied.

He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing."

The house is still standing. That is the entire review.

Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES.

I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four.

Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment.

He came at 1:40.

He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of.

Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go."

I asked when.

"Couple years."

I asked what I should do.

He said, "I'll give you a guy."

He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy.

Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION.

I have been given four guys since.

I have a guy for trees.

I did not know I needed a guy for trees.

I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

After you retire they unlock new exclusive movies for you. Dad asked if I had watched the Jeff Daniels Ronald Reagan movie. That doesn't exist for me yet. I'm not able to see that.

[lucila .⋆♱ @futuredeadgf]

not a shilling to your name 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Dubois @CFC_Dubois]

England v Mexico

[Shutts @Shuttsapalooza]

Sensational reaction

[E @Ellis_]

“VAMOS” 🤣 https://t.co/JF0G9MlZRx

[The New Yorker @NewYorker]

Erling Haaland, Norway’s large, maniacal striker, has several exceedingly Norwegian traits. He sometimes exercises by chopping wood in the forest. He consumes 6,000 calories a day. After training sessions, he drinks raw milk. He owns a tax-sheltered investment company in Luxembourg named Pillage. He bought an edition of the “Heimskringla,” a 13th-century Old Norse saga, for $130,000—then donated it to his local library because, he explained, “I’ve never been much of a reader.” He has flowing blond hair, often compared to a Viking’s. He brings the intensity of a raiding party to the sport. Haaland scores goals at a higher rate than almost any soccer player ever. He has said, “I think of football all the time.” His wake-up alarm plays the theme song for the Champions League. He once posted a photo of himself on a plane, staring ahead intensely, with the caption “Just raw dogged a 7 hour flight no phone no sleep no water no food only map.” The Guardian once called him a “ravenous Nordic goal-yeti.”

Haaland’s style of play elicits not wonder but terror. He is enormous: six feet five, 200 pounds, about the size and speed of the N.F.L. wide receiver Randy Moss. “Watching him, I sometimes find myself giggling as I might over a big, obscene crash at a demolition derby,” Zach Helfand writes. Read more: https://t.co/iAtLMOvrv0

[Emilio Sansolini @EmilioSansolini]

The World Cup! 🏆⚽️🌎

[gorlami @coob_er]

@footballontnt @BarstoolBigCat

[Fľøkï @Dee_Floki]

France v Senegal FIFA World Cup 2026 through Geoff Lowe’s lens

[Gav @afgavinstan]

This is what it's all about, unreal

[gorlami @coob_er]

@united

[gorlami @coob_er]

@united my 8am flight yesterday didn't get canceled until 10pm and now is delayed another 6 hours from new departure time today. You are useless

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: AMC Theatres records its highest May attendance in 7 years.

[Reggie James @HipCityReg]

It’s cool to care

[Joe Montana @JosephMontanaJr]

Bet you won’t top it 20 yards next time

[The Herald @heraldscotland]

The Bank of Scotland has unveiled a limited edition £20 note featuring an image inspired by Scott McTominay’s famous overhead kick

https://t.co/dLMwJkffeM