Jonas 🍤

I'm not here for a long time, just here for the spiciest memes!

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

Waitress: How's everything tasting?

Me:

[McNeil @REFLOG18]

Watching a horse I just learned existed today lose me money at the Derby

[Champ✨ @Ib_ra_himm]

Me: *disables Google home microphone*

Me: hey google

Google: your microphone is currently disabled

Me:

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

Accidentally grabbed 2 Q-tips, so I did both ears at the same time. I think I factory reset my brain

[Nathan "Grav" Murdock @NathanGraviteh]

“Gee I hope I don’t have a long day”

Me arriving at the Long Day Factory:

[H @IfeanyiEmm34386]

Genie: you have 3 wishes

Me: I wish I was always right

Genie: ok, you have 2 more

Me: No I have 3

Genie:

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

What did they dry? It’s soooo thiccck

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

Bro chill, you’re scaring the crows!

[jxke. 🧸🎰🃏 @cantguardjake]

Listening to my little league coach yell at us due to the stress over his impending divorce while I think about how i’m gonna tell him I left my cleats at home

[doomer @uncledoomer]

Japanese man You Smoke Too Tough. Your Swag Too Different. Your Bitch Is Too Bad. They'll Kill You

[Corporate Dudes @corporatedudes]

Best dad joke of all time just dropped

[emilie @emiliepfrank]

ice agents helping tsa at airports across the country this morning

[chris evans @notcapnamerica]

Justin Timberlake when the officer told him to walk a straight line

[Tashy McTashface @TashP351]

According to my skin, hair & lips and hands, I am doing Dry January.

[friendly urethra franklin @DoodooSimpanero]

If you’re over 30 you can’t say lock in, you have to say hunker down

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

Which one of y’all searched this

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

There is no reason to shave in an airport! Wtf

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

Just saw a lady roller skating with two dogs… suck to see someone living your dream!

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

Just saw three kids throwing stick at each other. There’s still hope

[Jonas 🍤 @cookejonas]

Who’s blasting like a prayer in the locker room? I love it