Cool Ranch Dorito

lactose intolerant but idgaf

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

I was giving Kaitlyn a wedgie and I pulled so hard it ripped her spandex

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

Don’t get me wrong i love football…but some of these men are clinically insane

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

“Fuck men! I’ve got AI”

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

Day drinking is all fun and games until it’s 7pm & you’re hungover

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

*uber driver*: “dorie do you mind if i take this phone call?” Go for it boss man

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

*drives past sketchy bowling alley*
*whispers* “that’s the place i first did cocaine”

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

You n me both

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

Backseat or bust

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

Audio books are cheating

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

@jordonramsayyy Woah

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

I take your airport beers & i raise you airport cocktails #itsfiveoclocksomewhere #thiswassoexpensive

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

Somethin about 20-something’s moving to Hawaii just don’t sit right with me

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

@mjayveen I’m already thinking bout them hot honey wings & an Arnold Palmer tomorrow

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

What weird place did you put your Apple sticker when you were little?

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

I could benefit from winning the lottery

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

@mjayveen Watching house with trav rn & you know what i get how he did it.

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

@jordonramsayyy @timmer430 I didn’t ask for a gluten allergy

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

@timmer430 @jordonramsayyy Who the fuck is this guy

[Cool Ranch Dorito @coolranchdorie]

“I’m in my 90s punk rock era” @mjayveen

[⚡️Bailey Zimmerman⚡️ @baileyzimmerman]

I vote McDonald’s brings the crispy chicken ranch snack wrap back. Pls. 😤