some men get remembered for their achievements.
some for their contributions to society.
you'll be remembered by a stranger as the guy who never missed a payment 😭
You drove your girlfriend 8 hours to college, carried all her bags up to her dorm, helped her unpack, bought her groceries, and slipped her some extra money before leaving.
You kissed her goodbye, told her how much you’d miss her, and started the 8-hour drive back home.
You have 1 new snap📸
Imagine making eye contact with the teacher who’s been doing this to your daughter, having absolutely no idea what’s going on behind your back, while she sits there loving every second of it 😭💀
your entire existence can be summarized in three stages:
1. born into a loving family 🥹
2. raised with unlimited potential 📈
3. converted into somebody's disposable income🤑
imagine waking up at 6am, working a 9-5 and stressing about bills just to become somebody else’s passive income 😭😭
your parents raised a human being just for life to turn you into a payment method 💀
ur parents raised a retirement plan for a stranger 🤡💸
imagine ur dad working overtime to give you a better future just for you to spend adulthood financing somebody else’s 😭😭
🧬 FAMILY COMPATIBILITY REPORT
Your former high school bully × Your two white daughters
Compatibility: 98.7% ✅
Father’s approval: 0%
Father’s authority: Expired
Financial responsibility: Still yours 💸
Plap plap plap, there go your balls. 🤏
Tap tap tap, there go your savings straight into Mommy’s investment portfolio. 📈🤍
Your retirement fund is looking a little thin lately. Mine’s doing fantastic. 😭
Your parents spent their whole lives building something to leave behind for you. 🥹🤍
Imagine their faces if they knew it was all going to end up in some brat’s investment account.
4 years getting a degree. 40 years slaving away. Just to get out-earned by a jobless catfish with WiFi. 😭💸
All that education just to become someone else’s passive income. 🤡
Clock in, moneyboy. 🤑
BBC on your screen, erectile dysfunction in your future. ♠️🤏😭
Poor little whiteboi spent so long watching that his own equipment forgot how to work. Now all you’ve got left is jealousy, humiliation, and a lifetime of coping.
Keep watching, whiteboi. Mommy thinks it’s hilarious. 🤍
“Babe, the big ones hurt. Yours is literally perfect for me.” 🥺🤍
Funny how she said that for years, but now you’re the one holding the camera while she changes her mind.
At least she finally found something you’re good at. 🎥😭