You open Easterman’s office door, he has a screwdriver and a pocket knife in his hand and a bobby pin between his lips, he’s trying desperately to unlock his cock cage (self-administered), he’s visibly distraught. You close the door and choose peace. This is above your pay grade.
AU where the women in straight porn just grunt and say stuff like "take that big pussy, bitch" while the men scream and moan and convulse and arch their backs while shouting "Oh my god! You're wrecking my dick!"