Normalize shaming and making people feel uncomfortable. Your married brother brings his side piece to the bbq, say something. Your homie isn’t taking care of his kids, cut them off. We can’t be enabling such poor behaviour. Holding people accountable begins with relationship.
adulting has taught me that a lot of grown people simply cannot handle hard conversations, accountability or emotional depth. and the beautiful thing is i don’t have to tolerate that. i can absolutely walk away and leave them right where they are.
noticing how everyone is feeling bad for this baby monkey and relating to him but in real life half of yall are actually much closer to the abusive one more than yall think
One of my favorite things to do is acknowledge instances of high EQ. Have a buddy who's just so good at making you feel relevant. Will ask you what you've been into lately and you'll say "oh I've been reading this thing, listening to that thing, etc"
Then will go a step further and ask you to send over a link so he can check it out. Send it and no matter what, will always bring it up again in the future or text you back with an update like "loved the first 10 minutes of this especially the part about abc, will finish the rest after xyz and-"
Just a ton of these subtle actions that really make a significant difference in how you're able to make others feel and vice versa. Love letting people know whenever I notice this stuff and of course taking inspiration from it to continuously level up my own game
As an *actual* private person, I can over confirm that people become very odd when they can’t figure you out or what's truly going on in your life beyond the surface.
I've tasted being the bigger person, and I've tasted matching energy. In the end, I recommend choosing people who never try to pull you out of alignment.