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Have you seen my tweet, it's huge!

[🍾 @corkisms]

What do you call a hen looking at a head of lettuce… a chicken sees her salad

[🍾 @corkisms]

“You’re not easy for us to take you to college, can you turn on your bitch switch??”

[🍾 @corkisms]

🚨BIRTHDAY ALERT 🚨
This swag “Hip”ster is celebrating his birthday today!!! Be sure to text him if you can and even try out his dance “moves”??😊🎉

[🍾 @corkisms]

“A dog and owner is that pee together stay together” 🤜🤛#bestiegoals

[🍾 @corkisms]

Make sure to get some sleep tonight so you have as much energy as Corkinator for trick-or-treat in the the morning #imsoexcitedandinistcanthideit

[🍾 @corkisms]

“Dont trip over a dollar to pick up a quarter.”

[🍾 @corkisms]

“Did you know in Jurassic park the sound of dinosaurs were made from recordings of tortoises making love.” #staywoke

[🍾 @corkisms]

“What does guava smell like… is that like java hut”

[🍾 @corkisms]

“Want a finger five?”🎾

[🍾 @corkisms]

*eating moose tracks ice cream* as long as you get the tracks and not the droppings you’re all good

[🍾 @corkisms]

“If you’re gonna fight... fight like you’re the 3rd monkey getting on Noah’s Ark.. äñd brøthêr ît’ś råìńïñ’ “