The Ghost of Michael Burry

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[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@cara_rindell This just happened to me via Facebook. Same phone number. Allegedly selling Broncos tickets. Ironically Apple Pay and CashApp wouldn’t let me send anything to them but I pushed through and used Venmo. Hate working so hard to get scammed

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

All of the men in Denver look like if Jesus and Tim the Toolman Taylor had a baby

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

My butthole when anyone comes into the bathroom while I’m pooping

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@CableGilbert @VinceGottalotta @AOC Some of us move out of our $30k a year dead end job. Some of us don’t 👀

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

My credit score is 666, finally something makes sense

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@WSJ Why can’t we have anything good

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

Being rich and famous would be fun because all of your closest friends are in the news all the time and it’s a wild group chat with millions of people

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

One of my clients told me today that his son tried to bring sand home from Hawaii for his mom and TSA took it from him. That’s a villain origin story

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@MattWallace888 @AOC The dozens of bartenders that have had to deny your sexual advances would appreciate the projection in this tweet

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@elonmusk

[Goblin Moder @mischiefanimals]

become ungovernable

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

Me watching my boyfriend play Call of Duty: “wouldn’t this game be more fun if instead of shooting people the objective was to just pet cats?”

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

At this point Ye, Zuckerberg, and Elon should just form a coalition and we’ll just see how weird this gets

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

Dating a 40 year old white guy be like: the house vibrates with a loud fart and then a “holy mackerel” at 10:19pm

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@badgirlstina What a day in the world of C rated tennis shoes

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@pikacap Tip: you don’t need to be Kanye West to not do this

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@badgirlstina This is so vile

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@StockCats P/E ratio = pretty enormous ratio

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@atdanwhite We have the same mom which is weird because she told me she had sex exactly twice

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Texting my mom about Halloween

[The Ghost of Michael Burry @cornerorifice_]

@____B_S____ For the love of god someone help him