cassie

shitposting hormone goblin

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

nothing humbles you like measuring 5'4 at the doctor when you've been telling everyone 5'6

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

not going to the gym because i already carry a 40lb tool belt up a pole. that's my sport now

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

closing the gap in my teeth would fix me. no notes. that's the whole diagnosis

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

doomscrolled so long the app started showing me tweets from 2019 like babe it's over go outside

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

my ovaries release one egg a month and my entire will to live along with it

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

ohio isn't a state it's a group project we all gave up on

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

google maps had me exit on the left onto oncoming traffic. she wants me dead

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

We don’t gotta be in love you know 🤓

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

climbing a pole for 8 hours then can't open a jar of pickles. the body is a mystery

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

my whole personality this week is being 3 days from crying and 2 beers from crying

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

got called ma'am at the hardware store i've been quiet ever since

[cassie @cornfedcassie]

Smash or pass