Cortronic

I shall bring a reign of nice down upon thee and wreak politeness wherever I go! And you will know me by the trail of those who owe me a favor!

[Cortronic @cortronic]

[best Billy Idol voice]
It's a nice day for a... light sweater
WHOA... It's a nice day for a... CARDIGAAAAAN

[Cortronic @cortronic]

I still get angry when I think about how many years I wasted on INessential oils.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

“Dad, my spaghetti’s cold. Warm it up!”
With the quiet resignation of someone utterly defeated by the ennui of middle age, former pop star Kris mutters to himself, “This is what I was born to do.”

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@FacesPics

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@behindyourback Thank you. I can finally have closure and get on with life again. Thank you.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

MC: "Ya down wit OCD?"
Crowd: "Yeah, you know me!... YEAH, you know me!... Yeah, YOU know me!... Yeah, you KNOW me!... Yeah, you know ME!... Yeah. you. know. me!..."

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@behindyourback @WGladstone Brazil, Dark City, Joe vs the Volcano

[Cortronic @cortronic]

Gaze not upon the mustard spot on my dress shirt, for all who lay eyes upon it shall be cast down from this conference room and forsaken.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

stressed woman: "Calgon, take me away!"
(in Heaven) God: "Does she mean me?"
angel: "Well, she's looking up this way"
God: "Ok then"
[woman dies, shows up at Heaven]
woman: "Calgon?"
God: "No, it's GOD"
woman: "I've been saying it wrong all this time! LOL"

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@mikeryan You make great points, but I tend to be more in the "you're overthinking it" camp. That said, I think Luke was going for the least violent solution as possible, but if things went pear-shaped, he wanted as many allies there to help as possible.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

If you didn't want me to throw a paper airplane filled with macaroni and cheese at you, you shouldn't have said "yes" when I asked if you wanted to see an "air Kraft carrier."

[Cortronic @cortronic]

worker: "Please don't fire me, I have four mouths to feed."
boss: "Yeah, see, that's the thing. The other guys are little creeped out working with a guy with four mouths on his face."

[Cortronic @cortronic]

When did the Patriots hire Bluto as their defensive coordinator?

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@stellamydog @behindyourback @jewdyblume Ha ha, sorry Adam! I guess they're just TOO SMOOTH!

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@jewdyblume @OhNoSheTwitnt @behindyourback @thomastoscani Again, gotta agree with Jewdy here.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@behindyourback @jewdyblume Heartily agree w/Jewdy. They are monsters not to be trusted.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@toomuchnick I was allowed to watch, but not reference by name, the show Bosom Buddies.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@stellamydog @EdGrohl So weird. Here it is: https://t.co/MlSPMmkEtZ

[The Pale Space Rider @truegritrumble]

DATE: What’s your favorite band?
ME: Toto.
DATE: * brows raised* Toto?
ME: *nervously* Uh. Toto-lly not the band that sang “Africa.”
DATE: Uhm...Then who?
ME: Whoever sang “Hold the Line.”
DATE: That was also Toto.
ME: Then my favorite band is Toto.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@truegritrumble @EdGrohl @stellamydog

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@stellamydog Must be a Gen X thing. I remember not caring about things being elevated to coolness.

[Cortronic @cortronic]

@ollymoss Ma Nicotti