Count Mackula

6’3, slappin babies for thee. Celebrity consultant. Dolphin whisperer. Musician. Wildcat Linguist

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

Reply guy? More like Reply Legend

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@mistrustme1 I’m down witit

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@MissHadleyFox Posture

I mean, posterior

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@baseballchickie Holy guacamole

Happy birthday

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@nickythegood Yo momma tired

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

Stay safe everyone

But if you can’t, at least stay safe on the way to the ER

[alison 💌🪩 @sunshinemick47]

Leclerc race

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@BrittyKittielol I’d forge dat

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@CharmandBrains i got a good one in there every now and then

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

Boots with the fir

-Santa

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@mistrustme1 It fits

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

Not Red or Blue

Red White AND Blue

United We Stand

America Strong

July 4th

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@alichkalina kak dela

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@Reverend_Scott Horatio is your middle name

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@fayesxh Not sure

Approaching women is one of the most fun things to do

Just be ready for her girlfriends to trash talk a little too haha

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

@Okay_Bye___ I wept because I had no shoes,
Until I saw the person that had no feet.

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

I was cool
a decade or so ago

(mean mouths: still am bitch)

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

DFUAGT

Don’t Fuck Up A Good Thing

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

Sipping your own blood heals you,
so just prick your finger and get a few drops any time you need to

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

‘The Man Who Sold the World’ used to just be a song

[Count Mackula @CountMackula]

The Straight of Vermouth?

Yeah it’s dirty, filled with olives, dry and shaken not stirred

[ChiChi Greenblatt @ChiChiGreenblat]

It’s called Karma.

And it’s pronounced ‘Ha ha fuck you”.

[RaspberryheART @Jenny4ashley]

Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about how when you fall in love, it's best to just kill yourself.