covert23

Frustrated stand-up comedian/filmmaker/writer -- but finally doing some standup, so I'm gonna focus on funny stuff here

[covert23 @covert23]

Okay, an idea here @Chiefs ... Make the team slogan "One Game" starting RIGHT NOW ... because it means anything: each & every game, sure --but there IS that ONE GAME (on the plus side, 1 game =1 hr = 60 mins ... even if that game is Super Bowl 60 ... #ChiefsKingdom

[covert23 @covert23]

@Centrefuter Something can't be "completely" linked to TWO other things, as a matter of fact.
And your "FACTUAL" statement contains indeterminate terms. Are "ethnicity" and "race" two things? Or one thing? If it's one thing, why the two words?

[covert23 @covert23]

I found this and I simply cannot sit on it. Especially cuz I had a joke about that whole scenario: So that CEO's wife filed for divorce, and where it asked for a reason, she said, "I didn't know he was a Coldplay fan." [rimshot]
#coldplaymeme #munch #jokes

[covert23 @covert23]

This appears, at first glance, to be an example of a beautiful relationship ... but keep reading & you'll see True Romance .... #trueromance #relationships #relationshipcomedy

[covert23 @covert23]

Someone asked me "If someone offered you $500 because "you're ugly," would you take it?"

Hell, yeah ... I'm ugly, not stupid.

[covert23 @covert23]

@JDVance Because rates are tied to neither inflation ... nor political climate, nor election dates, nor ANYTHING that YOU actually would understand ... tied to LOTSA things, that CHANGE over time ... guess you get to just pick your things

[covert23 @covert23]

@commons96055467 Yes Atlanta GA ... I've ALWAYS thought how great it was that those guys could gather at home depot & find honest work ... These are the "criminals"? I know literally 7 guys who started out gettin work at HD & now own their own businesses and are full citizens.

[covert23 @covert23]

@BHowardStern @JackPosobiec @AGPamBondi @JeffreyGoldberg @FBIDirectorKash Because no crime was committed. They included him on the chat, he can do what he wants with that info

[covert23 @covert23]

@EithanHaim Except you are ignoring a number of things: the intelligence of the viewers (I'm sure this isn't an issue for you, yer readers are as smart as you are); 2) the difference between a television program and a tweet ... it takes 2 mins to read yer tweet, NONE OF WHICH HAS EVIDENCE

[covert23 @covert23]

@EithanHaim So those other times that Trump talked about spending money they did NOT applaud, even tho they only were ever applauding "spending"? They pulled out Ukrainian flags, but were only clapping for "spending?" They clapped cuz spending money on Ukraine = benefit to America you fool

[covert23 @covert23]

@proudgrandpa00 @GypsysGrace @stacktowncards @MeidasTouch This is such a specious argument -- your OPINION [that Trump should be attending car races, i guess?] is not what was being discussed, it was FACTS, e.g. what it costs to operate Air Force One (AF-1 if yer cool) ... what YOU did not like was that your snap-judgment was flat wrong

[covert23 @covert23]

from my first try at standup

[covert23 @covert23]

@krew_ny @GuntherEagleman that might be the funniest thing i've ever read in my life ... not falling for a "legacy media lie" does not mean that you aren't falling for OTHER lies ... like the ones Rush Limbaugh has been telling since LOOOONG before 1991 ....

[covert23 @covert23]

@thesecondellen @PamKeithFL seriously: how could "people who voted" ... how could they "notice" that their vote "was not counted "? ... !!!!! this so stupid ...

[covert23 @covert23]

@NathanLands Have you ever noticed the geographic size difference of the US & Japan? If you're in Dallas, & there's no soap in the dispenser, & then you fly to Los Angeles, and there's no toilet paper in yer stall ... it's NOT because you live in a shitty country

[covert23 @covert23]

@LuckyHippie926 @KeithOlbermann It doesn't MATTER if they are lying ... just like YOU, the legitimacy of what they are saying is *irrelevant* ... The government should "shut down" a television network? Because it broadcasts unverifiable information? I guess all the non-profit Christian channels are also?

[covert23 @covert23]

@SluTectock @TheDailyShow Our "armed citizens won our independence & keep it defended ..." blah blah blah et cetera ... Your fundamental misunderstanding of this situation is *literally* mind boggling.

[covert23 @covert23]

@AtomicHillbill2 @BettsPbetts @808constituent @CollinRugg @ConstanceProse Which means that ... what? Because the helicopter is "unmarked" then it must be a GOVERNMENT helicopter ... Duh.

Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of an "unmarked" helicopter?

[covert23 @covert23]

@CFRN @OccupyDemocrats "Was the poll held at the border?"

SERIOUSLY???? Of course it was -- the border between insipid and insane. Look those words up on https://t.co/xjZmHQ53rM ... and the rest of it on snopes or politifact

[covert23 @covert23]

@CFRN @OccupyDemocrats You are -- pardon the political incorrectness-- retarded. Just go look up who was polled & how the poll was conducted. It's so easy to say that things were "rigged" or "orchestrated " when all you do is ask easily answered questions.