Cow Chop Quotes

You want to see a monkey? Go in the bathroom and look in the mirror.

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

Aleks: You dirty little swine.
Trevor: Did you just call me a slut?
Aleks: Swine.
Trevor: I don't drink wine.
Aleks: SWINE.
T: Bless you.

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"Come, my son."

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"I can't see you back there! Because you're in the past, and I'm lookin' forward. A future.... with hotdog sandwiches."
-Jakob

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

James: Why wouldn't a woman be able to be your best friend?
Aleks: You can have a woman best friend, but you can't just stay friends.
James: I mean, I understand you specifically probably couldn't because you have that temptation. You would cross that line.

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"Uh, male nipples DO serve a purpose. Have you ever seen somebody without nipples? It's weird looking. It's gross."
-Asher

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

Jakob: You didn't make much of an argument, James. You kind of just belittled Asher.
James: Sometimes that's just what debating is.
Jakob: ..I believe your opening statement was "Who the fuck does this guy think he is?"

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"Do you have Joe's face?"
-Aleks after beating up a picture of Trevor

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

James: I'm gonna wash this [whistle].
Aleks: Why do you need to wash it? We've kissed before, you fucking... gay.

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

gonna bring this account back to life cus why not

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

James: Did I save any money?
Brett: You've saved... 1 dollar and 20 cents!
Joe: It's my inner Jew saving money.

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"I think the reason you look like an idiot is because of genetics, but..."
-Asher to Trevor

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James: I'll put my finger down your throat.
Aleks: I'll suck your dick.
James: E-Excuse me?

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"He looks like Bert from Sesame Street. But so do I, so like, I don't know what I'm talking about."
-@HungryHundar

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"I like how you wear skater shoes but you can't skate."
-Aleks to James

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Aleks: Make me into one of your Syrian refugees, daddy.
Trevor: You've been a good boy today. You've been a real good boy.

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"You look like the fucking CO of KFC, what the fuck?"
-Trevor to James

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

James: That's it? You want some baklava?
Joe: Isn't it bala-klava?
Aleks: Shut the f--

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

Brett: You look like a son of Trump.
Trevor: I look like a son of Trump? Why would you say that to me?!

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"That ain't no ramp, man. That's a piece of cheese. And I know a piece of cheese when I fuckin' see it."
-James

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

"I just pet my corgi and constantly say 'alright hello'. It's a life of torment, actually. "
-Trevor being James

[Cow Chop Quotes @cowchopquotes]

Aleks: Last time we lit plastic people said we'd die of cancer.
Trevor: I'm pretty sure I already have cancer from the YouTube comments.