My brother in law tries to say this and use this in arguments as a manipulative salesman tactic that he says “applies to everyone” but it’s just not always true. I am only offended when I hear an untrue criticism about myself because I’m offended that they don’t know me well enough to accurately criticize me. When I hear a true criticism I’m almost appreciative (even if it hurts) because I feel understood and known at least. Basically the only time I’m offended is if it’s totally off base and I don’t think I’m the only one that feels like this
@ByzantineBarbie There’s something so comforting about this photo that can’t be understood without being someone that wore polka dot skirts in 2012. But maybe I’m wrong
@Romy_Holland you also just really don’t want to be paying fast food rates for anyone that takes care of your kids. There’s basically no amount of money that will make someone care for your children like you would, hedging your bets is the smartest move
@Romy_Holland if you want to hire someone aged 14-18 it probably goes for $20 an hour still but my starting rate as a nanny in 2020 was $25 and it was pretty standard then, $30 for CA seems reasonable now tbh
@SCHIZO_FREQ After a childhood of embarrassment, I forced myself into being oblivious about it or at least deluding myself into being oblivious about it and honestly, it totally worked. It turned into my greatest power
Racism fixes this. When enough people get fed up and become brazenly, unabashedly racist again, and it dawns on them, “wait a minute…this actually sucks, no one likes it, and we don’t have to take it? So what are we doing?” then various committees can swiftly agree on what distinct characteristics indicate someone is a useless nuisance who brings negative value to the world, and manage the waste accordingly.
Wait until the millennial era is completely out of the picture and there’s no one left to care/remember/take seriously the politically correct status quo. People are increasingly going to take what they see at face value, without the veil of what they’re “supposed” to think about it.
Everyone forgets why “woke” won in the first place. It didn’t win because it was unequivocally right. It won because it was WHITE. White people won, because that’s what they decided on doing, and they did it. All white people have to do to change course is decide to do something else. This is something woke was correct about— this is a “white supremacist” world. But it’s not in the way people think, or for the reasons people think. It’s simply a moment in time, like the Pliocene, Pleistocene and Holocene. Everyone thinks “white people had their moment, it’s time for us now!” No, actually, everyone else ‘had their moment,’ aeons ago. Which is a sacred honor, not a defeat. Now we are here.
Anyway, I digress. Cut the crap already, NYC. We know it’s not little Dutch boys committing the violence.
@shedrinkswater This is very well said. These are my exact sentiments. I just couldn’t take it all anymore and felt like life would be more peaceful without. I used to have more time and energy for navigation, I wish I still did
Female friendships can become an incredibly complex dance of manipulation, gaslighting, people-pleasing, love, care, selfishness, selflessness, jealousy, envy, and competition.
There is often immense tenderness there, but also an entire subterranean social game operating beneath the surface.
If you are good at managing these dynamics, regulating your reactions, reading subtext, and still participating in the game while remaining human, you will probably have a decent number of close female friendships. But even a little social awkwardness, emotional transparency, or inability to tolerate masked behaviour can make female friendships extremely difficult to navigate.
Your friends can slowly become your bullies, and it takes an enormous amount of emotional labour to keep moving through those dynamics when you do not naturally possess the social machinery required for them. You begin noticing the injustice, indirectness, performative sweetness, hidden hostility, constant testing, and you cannot keep pretending it is normal.
That is why some women do not have many female friends. It is not always because they are jealous, male-centred, or a “red flag.” Sometimes they simply cannot metabolise the amount of social theatre, disguised aggression, and psychological negotiation required to survive certain female circles.
The amount of mindspace you have to pay to remain inside such relationships can be enormous.
@callmeMEJE This was, honest to god, the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Not in a fun way, it was genuinely the worst movie experience I’ve ever had. I watched it because I wanted to watch a terrible movie but it wasn’t even enjoyable on that level. I’ll never get that life back