Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer

figure skating alt. aspiring Jackie Wong intern. unnecessary and uncalled for

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

So if I’m reading this right he’s no longer even a member of the Tech Committee?! 👋👋 don’t let the door hit you on the way out

[Anything GOEs @AnythingGOE]

Round 2, Bowness takes lead, Rettstatt has fewest votes and is eliminated. #ISUCongress26

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

Once the dust has settled, we’re gonna need someone to release the definitive dance team abbreviation list I’ve already seen five different proposals for Lajoie/Baker

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

noooo we needed joker program redemption

[Anything GOEs @AnythingGOE]

🇦🇿 Vladimir Litvintsev has announced his retirement from competitive skating
https://t.co/rNYKYEwvJH

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

@sunmustset2rise @mikasumbrellas If I remember right someone said they were going to get deductions for Dylan’s arms not being stick straight during lifts, but the actual rule is a little more nuanced and only calls for “full extension” so a minor bend is ok

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

for no particular reason does everyone remember when kmt said she had officials in her ear telling her she should end her successful pairs partnership...

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

@tea_zamboni @cranberryrasp He’s going to launch her into the stratosphere 😭😭

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

@bellevirtues So say Marina Klimova, Scott Moir, and Madi Hubbell 🙏

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

@ the runthrough I think we need an emergency pod

[🐞 @virtuemoired]

i will need all of us collectively to enter the deepest state of psychosis and analyze this piece of text like it's the fucking bible. no theory is a reach, no conclusion too wild. lets leave no stone unturned

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

I firmly believe if any of the young teams were actually able to crack the top of the podium this endless musical chairs would not be happening rn

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

The domino effect of the hags staying for the 2023-2026 quad continues to plague us 😭😭

[Anything GOEs @AnythingGOE]

🇨🇦 Marjorie Lajoie / Zachary Lagha have ended their partnership.
https://t.co/x9RtldJmB6

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

And when is Skate Canada going to permanently suspend Roma*n bc that man supporting FBC’s comeback bullied ALL OF US

[Lori Ward @LoriRWard]

BREAKING: Two-time world pairs champion and coach Meagan Duhamel has been suspended by Skate Canada for two weeks for “bullying and harassment” of another coach.
Story developing… A comment from Duhamel is coming exclusively with Broken Ice.

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

No one wants to pull a H/D anymore 😔

[я hater @vmstagemom]

this tweet is true but it’s specifically because promising teams keep splitting instead of sticking it out with someone they barely like. young teams who start dating are likely to break up and thus more likely to split so it just increases those odds further

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

2008 US Nats you’ll always be famous (and my profile pic)

[🐻‍❄ polar bear in arlington texas @polarbearspin]

evan-johnny rivalry is insane because what do you mean their score were TIED at one point?? 😭😭

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

that twizzle was the death knell

[Jackie Wong @rockerskating]

Hannah Lim / Ye Quan have ended their partnership, both searching for new partners

Lim: https://t.co/IiR2oEG0IC
Quan: https://t.co/9aQ0L7BEH0

Off-season log: https://t.co/XuHs4yFYgz

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

Someone do a wellness check on nocsh

[Anything GOEs @AnythingGOE]

🇯🇵 Yuma Kagiyama announces he won’t compete in the 2026/27 season

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

Tell me why I’m sitting in a coffee shop, minding my own business, and then bock’s fucking bedsheet music came on the playlist

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

@vmstagemom the ice dance technical committee will start coughing in 3 hours

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

Yeah this just confirms that these awards are not voted on by fans

[Jackie Wong @rockerskating]

Figure Skaters of the Year: Laurence Fournier Beaudry/Guillaume Cizeron

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

@cranberrycurd @rockerskating I think they withdrew bc he had surgery?

[Shawn Rettstatt’s Parole Officer @cpominomenon]

Lilah’s dad said “check again” 💸

[Anything GOEs @AnythingGOE]

🇬🇧 British Ice Skating are formally challenging the decision to apply an illegal element deduction to Lilah Fear / Lewis Gibson during their free dance at #WorldFigure. They are also calling for a full and independent review of the officiating process.
https://t.co/irLcQDHraH