Chris Raftery

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[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

@alexbell The first draft of The Timewarp just lacked that perfect hook

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

Sometimes the single dissenting voice is the only voice of reason in the battle against racism #WeStandTogether #WeStandWithYou #SayNoToRacism #BlackLivesMatter

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

Curfew times in US Cities
Northern States - 19:00
Southern States - 1896

#FuckRacism

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

It’s alright people, the world is cured. What a cheeky solution to thousands dying!

[Rishi Sunak @RishiSunak]

The good news we've all been waiting for. https://t.co/qi15T4uWeh

[Rishi Sunak @RishiSunak]

The good news we've all been waiting for. https://t.co/qi15T4uWeh

[Paddy McGuinness ❤️ @PaddyMcGuinness]

I’ve finally lost it in lockdown! 🤪 #isthisthewaytobarnardcastle

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

Looking for a birthday present for your partner that has the ultimate element of surprise?

Why not take them on a 30 mile drive whilst screaming ‘I can’t see!’ It’s an experience they’ll never forget (provided they aren’t asked about it within the next 6 weeks)

[John Inge @BishopJohnInge]

Received a delightful e-mail earlier: ‘Stay out of politics or we’ll kill you.’ For me the whole Cummings drama is not about politics but life and death. If trust in Government guidance is eroded we’ll have a second spike and 1000s of lives will be lost.

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

@RishiSunak Oh he explained himself. Most narcissists like to do that. Few of them can actually hear how dangerously awful their explanations sound

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

@JeremyClarkson @KayBurley Can your 4 year old do 500 miles on one bladder is the big question

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

@BarristerSecret This is after the bit where he said he was so weak he could barely stand when his son went to hospital, but he went and picked him up the next day. Utter bullshit

[The Secret Barrister 🦋 @BarristerSecret]

I hope and expect that when this Civil Servant is identified, the government will accept that they were simply following instinct and doing what any reasonable person would do.

[rufus jones @rufusjones1]

This is like when Vader picks up The Emperor and fucks him off down that hole.

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

omeone needs to slip a sock into the next daily briefing papers. It’s the only way to become free

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

The only Tour merch with correct dates on out there

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

Congratulations on your first day as new Daily Mail editor, Douglas Haig!

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

@mnrrntt @jamajestical Noddy Holder walking through Manchester Arndale. It was December. No I didn’t.

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

@Ciara87C I said, this is the online version.....

(Absolutely Not sorry)

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

@Ciara87C People do this???

This is the online version of the person who not only laughs at their own joke, but repeats it louder when no one else laughs too.

[Chris Raftery @cpraf]

@GeordieChris_F Official Construction Leadership Council guidance ‘don’t share a car, but if you do, be a love and wind the window down’. They also say working in a house less than 2m apart is fine if it’s for less than 15 mins. Needless to say we’ve fucked that guidance off