cptweets

25-35 hours worth of shenanigans and fences. No affiliation with CPSLO. Parody account. DM campus shenanigans.

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

@StevenCheah Gruden is #CalPolyProud

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

@CPMustangNews Your story is incorrect. It happened Friday night/early Saturday morning.

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

In summary, “too bad, so sad.” Some pathetic excuse for leadership. #NotCalPolyProud

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

Daddy Armstrong needs a raise so we’re increasing tuition by 6% every year. #CalPolyProud https://t.co/Rv1ae0BG5X

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

The DOJ just discovered classified documents in Armstrong’s residence. #ClassifiedDocuments #college #calpoly #SLO

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

Enjoy your rain day, Mustangs. Stay safe, stay warm, stay cool. 😎

[Mustang News @CPMustangNews]

#Breaking: Cal Poly has canceled all in-person and virtual classes today, the first day of winter quarter, due to storm conditions. Story to come.

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

We are nominating Jeff Armstrong for #SpeakerOfTheHouse. #HouseSpeaker #calpoly #SLO #college

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

We just got back from the #RoseParade and can confirm that roses really do smell like poo-poo-ooh. #HappyNewYear #college #calpoly

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

Pomona and Humboldt campuses have been shut down for impersonating Cal Poly. Thank you, @elonmusk and @Twitter. #calpoly #SLO @BarstoolCalPoly

[Your Own Backyard Podcast @YOBPodcast]

Paul Flores is guilty of the first degree murder of Kristin Smart

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

Oh no…

[The Yak @BarstoolYak]

We’ve got our first 10X TD celebration courtesy of @HendrixJohnson

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

We’re #CalPolyProud of our new stadium. If only we could say the same about the actual team (1-3). #sports #college #calpoly #SLO #oof

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

Welcome back, ya filthy animals. Let’s get it, Mustangs. 🤘🏼🐎 #calpoly #SLO #college #BacktoSchool

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

MustangNews reports that CPPD has conducted a “raid” at Armstrong’s house. University staff was not immediately available for comment. #calpoly #SLO #college #heartattack

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

In memory of Harambe. Never forget our sweet prince. #RIP #Harambe #calpoly #SLO https://t.co/60Z9qm1p7H

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

Admin has commitment issues. #calpoly #SLO #COVID19

[Mustang News @CPMustangNews]

#Breaking: Starting tomorrow, May 31, Cal Poly’s indoor mask mandate is reinstated regardless of vaccination status, according to a university wide email. It will remain in place until June 12. Story to come.

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

#Breaking: #ElonMusk is allegedly in discussions to buy Cal Poly and let Mustangs run wild and free. #JusticeForMusty #college #collegelife #ElonMuskTwitter

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

The Avenue to be renamed “1901 Marketplace.” Fitting name, given that prices are likely to get students feeling like the actual stock market crash of 1901 all over again. #college #calpoly #SLO #StockMarket #stock @ComplaintsPoly @CPMustangNews

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

Open House. A time when admin sweeps all the sketchy stuff under the rug in an attempt at luring naive teenagers into paying large amounts of money for ~4 years. Spring is in the air. #weekendvibes #college #calpoly #SLO

[cptweets @cpslotweets]

Welcome to Cal Poly, where the rules are made up and the grades don’t matter. #finals #SpringBreak #calpolyproud #calpoly #SLO @BarstoolCalPoly @Calpolychicks