Louis Crabbmarché

It's a whole new game.

[AmericanAccolon @AccolonsMetal]

How you know Trump is a contractor is he knows Squatemalans can fall from looney tunes level heights and walk away entirely unscathed

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@melonsnek @fangcell What is your definition of “comms abuse”?

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@Goooktummy I want to know if “comms abuse” is being a meanie and saying *gulps* slurs! or the shit like flooding chat with a macro and making it unusable.

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@melonsnek @fangcell Mute buttons right there bro

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

I was the the convenience store, and I saw @punishedazen in front of me in queue. He was buying two dozen candy bars and wearing a gaudy printed tee with all his socials posted on it and that’s how I found his twitter.

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@Edelethtildeath “We added a new dimension, solely to add more mobs we can make plushies of”

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@DAKKADAKKA1 I loved him in the RE movie because I got to watch him get turned into paste

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@autisticarab @ErrolTostigson My mom wouldn’t let me watch Adventure Time as a kid because she thought it was annoying.
Patriot.

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@at84rup @meekaale Look up “comfort women” to get an idea of how the Japanese would of been treating people under their “not the same as American style slavery based on race”, and this was during the 30’s and 40’s

Which was funnily enough, based on race because it was all Korean and Chinese girls.

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@Kaizerrev “Take their Hennessy”
Might as well grab an unflushed turd while your at it

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@ShitpostRock Edward Richthofen?-

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@GreenTextRepost Never seen someone feed a cow rice

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@SXR123 Guns actually do that if a bullet or something else gets stuck in the barrel

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@fangcell And what is voice abuse?

[Autistic Arab @autisticarab]

@puppycelebrity it is the year 2026 and people are still getting mad at postal 2

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

If you had trusted the settled science of the day, here is how it would have gone.

1890s: you dose the baby with Bayer's new cough syrup, the non-addictive alternative to morphine, marketed for children. It was heroin. They named it after the German for heroic.

1900s: you rub calomel teething powder on your infant's gums. It is a mercury compound, and it leaves a generation with pink disease. Swollen, peeling hands and feet, screaming for months, and some of them died.

1910s: you cook in Crisco, launched by a soap and candle company, because cottonseed oil is modern and lard is what your mother used. The process that made it solid produced trans fat, banned outright a century later.

1920s: you drink Radithor, certified radioactive water, on prescription. Eben Byers took fourteen hundred bottles for his vitality. His jaw was removed in pieces and he was buried in a lead coffin.

1930s: a chemist dissolves a new sulfa drug in diethylene glycol, which is antifreeze. It kills 107 people, mostly children, and only then does America give the FDA power to demand safety testing.

1940s: your doctor lights a Camel in the surgery. More doctors smoke them than any other brand, and the advert runs in the Journal of the American Medical Association, which sold him the page.

1950s: DDT is sprayed over your kitchen, your garden and your children at school. The man who found its insecticidal properties has already been given a Nobel Prize.

1960s: your wife takes thalidomide for morning sickness because it is remarkably safe. More than ten thousand children are born with missing and shortened limbs.

1970s: the country puts down the butter and picks up the margarine, on the instruction of the American Heart Association. The fat everybody switched to was banned in 2015 as unsafe at any level.

1980s: the fat comes out of everything and sugar goes back in to make it edible. Obesity begins a climb it has never come off.

1990s: your father is prescribed OxyContin, because fewer than one per cent get addicted. The company later pleads guilty to criminal misbranding, and the overdose count runs into hundreds of thousands.

2000s: you take Vioxx for your knee. It is pulled in 2004, and the FDA's own safety officer estimates tens of thousands of excess heart attacks.

Not one of those was fringe. Every one had a professional body, a literature and a man in a white coat standing behind it.

Nobody who followed that advice was stupid. They were obedient, to the most qualified people available.

Settled is a word about money. It means the questions stopped being funded, so they stopped being asked.

So which of today's instructions will your grandchildren read out in disbelief.

The oil washed in hexane and built into every cell you own. The statin that blocks the pathway making your hormones, to prevent one heart attack per hundred people. The injection where a third of the loss is muscle. The infant formula built out of vegetable oil.

All settled. None of it funded to be otherwise.

[Kaiser @KaiserLoengramm]

Let me explain why I have such fervor for the Patriots during the War for Independence by placing you into the seat of history. Place yourselves in the shoes of a Virginian planter, who just got told that the land you personally put your blood, sweat and tears surveying during which you nearly died, then fighting the French and savages over over where you also had comrades in arms die, nearly died yourself again, well all that land you fought over is actually not going to be yours to settle, it’s actually going to become an Indian buffer state given right back into the hands of the savages you just got done fighting it for.

And if you want any of it, you want to use any of it, the land you personally surveyed, the land you fought to keep, you’re going to have to negotiate with parliament for any change in boundaries or for any legal usage of it. Then, on top of that, you now get direct taxes levied against you by that same parliament that says you don’t get to use that land, which itself was largely unprecedented as prior to this any acts which Parliament had undertaken were relegated primarily to international commerce which, understandably, they would get to regulate as it concerned the empire as a whole rather than the internal colonial affairs.

But now they’re taxing you. To pay for the war you just paid for in the blood you spilt of the enemies of the crown and the bodies of your fellow Virginians left behind in the wilderness. And this is again, pretty much unprecedented. They’d passed a few silly laws in the past but hardly anyone even remembers them because they went totally unenforced because of how ridiculous they were. Telling people they can’t make hats? Telling people they can’t make their own iron tools? All absurd, and so they went completely disregarded.

But now they actually are trying to enforce these things. So you work against it, protesting it, pushing back against it in the houses you have, your own legislatures at home. A Legislature, the house burgesses, which you yourself are a member of. And eventually it becomes so untenable they rescind it. Then, that very same day, that same parliament passes a law declaring that they are the supreme authority over you, in all matters, in all affairs, that whatever they say goes and your own legislatures are all subordinate to them.

And there is no recourse for you. You don’t get any representatives of your own. You have no political representation, even though you are, again, a member of the house burgesses, modeled directly off of the English Parliament. In spite of that fact that you own 5,500 acres of land, that you are profiting 2000 British Pounds a year, when an English county only required land in evaluation of 2 pounds to vote, in spite of the fact that you have 1000x as much value as that tiny freeholding yeoman, that yeoman got to have more political say over the course of your life than you did.

Because he got to at least vote, which was entirely denied to you. And of course it was. You were 3000 miles away. It would be untenable to have your lands be considered as English counties and send your representatives across the ocean back and forth to cast votes in Parliament. That's why you had the house of burgesses in the first place.

Because the ancient charter struck between King James I and the first men of Virginia 150 years prior said quite clearly that they, and all their descendants, which was to say you, were to receive all liberties, immunities, and franchises that you would have had had you been born an England. That you were to be treated equally.

There is no world where this situation could ever be construed as honoring the very agreement which set this forth in the first place as equal, when you no longer even had a vote in what laws might be passed over you, and that Parliament could now do whatever it wanted. A parliament which had just denied you the lands that you surveyed, that you fought for. And then as a thank you for the blood you shed, taxed you and rendered you as lesser than an English peasant with a few acres.

And all of that, that's what it was to have been George Washington prior to the War for Independence. It is a testimony to his grace, goodwill, temperament, and character as a gentleman that it took him a decade to start killing people over this horrific miscarriage of justice. And to try to claim that because your gross twisting of the letter of a law in total violation of the spirit means somehow, you were the bad guy in all of this, is incredibly offensive in how terrible a read of history it is.

[Louis Crabbmarché @crabbmarche]

@Andr3jH Jermey Clarkson. He was the host of ‘Who wants to be a millionaire’ iirc

[Netflix @netflix]

DANG!, a new adult animated series, premieres September 8. Starring Andrew Law, Poppy Liu, and Stephanie Hsu.

Siblings Andrew and Eunice are living out their fun and messy dreams in New York City. Until their worst nightmare comes true: their high-achieving sister Ruthie wants to hang out...